Q: As a birthday gift, my boyfriend promised a nice surprise. After taking me out to dinner, we went to his apartment and he casually turned on the TV. There we were in living color going at it. He thought it would turn me on and he was right.

Now that my birthday buzz has worn off, however, I'm weirded out about it. I mean, he taped us having sex without my knowledge. He said it was a one-time thing, but I'm not sure I can trust him. What if he made other copies of the DVD?

I don't want to flip out on him because he honestly thought he was being sexy. But I might want to run for public office one day, and I sure don't want a sex tape popping up. He says he'd never do that, but how am I supposed to believe him?

Mia: What a sneak. You're right not to trust him. He videotaped you having sex without your consent, and that's not cool. What else has that slimeball done? Videotaped you on the toilet? Or getting dressed? He's a loser and he needs to be dumped.

Steve: This is a gross invasion of privacy, not to mention really stupid. You need to get the DVD and destroy it. And tell him that if you discover he's made a copy, he's finished.

Q: What's your position on exes and Facebook? I ask because my girlfriend is friends with all of her exes and talks to them on Facebook, Twitter or whatever. At the risk of sounding old-school, which I am, I'm not comfortable with this. She says it's no big deal and that all of her friends do it. But I know she wouldn't like it if my ex-wife and I were on Facebook chatting all day about our kids.

Steve: I'm friends with most of my exes, although I don't spend time talking with them online. If she's open about it, not sneaking around and not meeting them for drinks, I wouldn't sweat it.

Mia: Chill, gramps. Lots of folks include exes among their Facebook friends. For the twenty-something set, it's no big deal. Besides, if her exes aren't running away from her screaming, it's a sign that she's a good woman. Stop looking for trouble.

Steve is a fifty-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.