Little Steven Van Zandt

has the perfect life. He played Silvio Dante on

The Sopranos

and also plays guitar and wears bandanna for

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

. This afternoon from 3 to 4 p.m., LSVZ will join

Andre Gardner

live on WMGK-FM (102.9) for music and talk. No stranger to MGK, he: His nationally syndicated show

Little Steven's Underground Garage

airs Sundays from 10 p.m. to midnight each week.

Of course, tonight Bruce and the boys and girl play (what's probably) their last-ever show at the Spectrum.

Once off, maybe back on?

Lindsay Lohan

was snapped prancing around a beach in a bikini, looking like a shoelace wearing two Band-Aids. Blog sites instantly were abuzz at her worrisome slimness. A beach bod is one thing, a bony bod another. In happier news, she and DJ

Samantha Ronson

may be back on after much off-ness. On Thursday evening, LiLo was seen visiting Sam's NYC apartment, and seen later departing. Hmmm! On Facebook, Sam changed her status from

single

back to

married,

and LiLo from

single

to

bony

, well, no, but we mean It's Complicated. These days, that makes it official -

what

it makes official is less clear.

BTW, is Ronson leading a hair-fashion trend? As in - sideburns? Gatecrasher of the Daily News Web site thinks so, noting 'burns on Ronson, Dylan McKay, Zac Efron, and Matthew Broderick. True, some are for film parts. But it's suddenly a coolness thing. They all have a long way to go to equal Neil Young, burnswise - or the astounding facial flora on our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur.

All things Jackman

Speaking of bilateral hirsuteness: Let's say you are the hopefully named

Oscar

, son of finely 'burned

Hugh Jackman

. Do you or do you not use your dad's fame and, well, hunkability to hook up with hot betties? We're shocked you have to ask. In an interview with

Entertainment Tonight

, Jackman, about to shred movie screens everywhere in

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

, details Oscar's method: "He said to me the other day, 'Dad, 2 o'clock, hot chick.' He walks over, and I heard him say, 'Hey, my dad's Wolverine' . . . That's his opening line. He brings them over and asks, 'Dad, can we have a few autographs for the girls?' I'm like, 'Am I pimping for my kids?' " Uh,

yeah

. BTW, he tells

Access Hollywood

that he trained for a year and changed his diet to get into

Wolverine

shape. "I think we've wiped out entire gene pools of chickens," he quipped. Jackman, funny man, also says, "At first [my wife] was like, 'Hugh, this is ridiculous, look at you . . . I don't know who you are - now get into bed.' " She speaks for millions!

Good Sir Hugh was at Monday's premiere of Wolverine in Tempe, Ariz., but will not be going to Mexico City today as planned for the premiere, sadly shut down by health officials due to swine flu. His Hughness told Usmagazine.com: "As soon as they open it up and as soon as it's safe for people to go out and see movies again, we'll go back down there."

Pearls about swine

Speaking of the porcine influenza, the so-in-love newlymarrieds

Spencer Pratt

and

Heidi Montag

are honeymooning in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. And -

strange

image - the honeys are mooning masked! "We're definitely wearing the face masks everywhere we go," Pratt said yesterday on

Ryan Seacrest

's radio show on L.A. station KIIS-FM. Montag says that "every second, we're washing our hands."

Get that image out of our heads!

When a photographer asked Paris Hilton whether she was worried about the swine flu, her response (says TMZ) was, "I don't eat that."

Some things you can't make up.

Bye, Tinseltown; bonjour, France

Eva Longoria Parker, as is only right, was named one of People en Español's 50 Most Beautiful, which she is in any language. Including French: She tells Extra that she and hubby Tony Parker of the NBA's San Antonio Spurs plan to split Hollywood and move to his native France. When? Er, um, well, "after Desperate Housewives. Actually after his basketball career. Not for a while but we'll be living there for a bit."

The Worm gets burned

In 2006, ex-NBA celeb Dennis Rodman got blotterized at a Las Vegas bar and tried to get beverage manager Sara Robinson to dance. She escaped, but not before getting her derriere smacked. Robinson complained. When he returned to the bar and she complained again, she got fired. She took him to federal court for his behindhandedness, and on Monday, she (now Sara Ure) won a $225,000 award. Rodman was a no-show. Earth to Dennis: Stay out of Vegas, dude! You lost an $80,000 court decision for knocking around casino staff in 1997, and at least five other complaints have been settled out of court. Open a tattoo parlor or something!

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.