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Are you lonely? These Philadelphians are too.

Americans are experiencing a loneliness epidemic. These young Philadelphians are trying to navigate social isolation in unique ways.

Loneliness is a national health crisis, according to U.S Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. While all generations of Americans are experiencing it, younger generations of Philadelphians are trying to navigate social isolation in unique ways.
Loneliness is a national health crisis, according to U.S Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. While all generations of Americans are experiencing it, younger generations of Philadelphians are trying to navigate social isolation in unique ways.Read moreAnton Klusener/ Staff illustration/ Getty Images

Maddy Mullahey didn’t expect to spend her postgrad year “lost and anxious.”

Shifting from college to adult life was hard for the 23-year-old, who graduated from the University of Arts in 2022. Mullahey struggled to navigate changing career paths and find new friends as she moved out of her college apartment.

In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released an extensive advisory report that called attention to what he dubbed the “loneliness epidemic” and the health challenges it presented. “Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling — it harms both individual and societal health,” Murthy wrote in the intro. “[T]he harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces, and civic organizations, where performance, productivity, and engagement are diminished.

Synthesizing data from 148 studies over seven years, the report revealed social connection increases survival while loneliness increases the risk of premature death, its effects spanning generations and demographics. One standout fact from Murthy’s report found that lack of social connection is as dangerous as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Meanwhile, the Centers for Disease Control reports that for adults aged 50 and older, loneliness and social isolation contributes to a 50% increased risk of dementia, 29% increased risk of heart disease, and a 32% increased risk of stroke.

While older populations report high rates of loneliness, studies show that young adults may be the hardest hit, a result of social isolation induced by the pandemic, among other factors. In a 2020 survey, Harvard researchers found a quarter of respondents aged 55-65 reported “serious loneliness,” compared to two-thirds of young adults (18-25), who reported suffering from “significant symptoms of anxiety or depression.”

Local therapist Shayna Rudd says that since then, there have been significant hits to people’s social connections, such as the level of gun violence in the city and the COVID-19 pandemic.

How loneliness affects general health

Social connection impacts health through three principal pathways: biology, psychology, and behaviors, according to a study by psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad, while social isolation is a reliable predictor in accelerated cognitive decline, depression and anxiety, and self-harm. For example, a study of over 20,000 U.S. adolescents in grades 7 to 12 followed into adulthood found that social isolation can increase inflammation to the same degree as physical inactivity.

While the COVID-19 quarantines exacerbated loneliness, approximately half of U.S. adults reported increased levels of isolation before the pandemic, according to U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

“We have a flight or fight [response], but then we have freeze when we’re in anxiety,” said Rudd, the therapist. Gen Z is in a freeze — they are bored and afraid to move forward. “Unfortunately, that does permeate loneliness, because now [it’s] ‘I’m not going out into social spaces; I’m too afraid of what’s next.’”

How younger Philadelphians experience loneliness

Nahee Yi, a Philly native, has amassed a following on the social media platform TikTok by filming her forced interactions with strangers in public. In an ongoing series, the 26-year-old documents herself “go[ing] out in the wild to find a husband organically,” filming public encounters with baristas, asking for help while shopping, or making small talk.

It’s Yi’s attempt at fighting the social awkwardness she developed during the COVID-19 pandemic, while sharing her journey to build up the courage to chat up strangers in everyday settings.

What she didn’t expect was her public diary to find a large community of people in the comments sharing their struggles with social anxiety. “I’m trying to show that you don’t go out one day and all these people [show up],” Yi said. “You have to put the effort, and you have to put yourself out there and try.”

Surgeon General Murthy noted that technology like social media can lead to reduced social connection, fueled by factors like a tendency to compare and a fear of missing out. Seeing others post their successes on social media made things all the more difficult for the photographer, Mullahey, making her wonder if she was the only one struggling. But Yi demonstrates that some people are finding support online.

@naheezy Day 31: Target strikes again!!! Guys i was MORTIFIED cuz i realized this man was watching me “struggle” to get the legos for 30 min 💀 he probs knew what i was doing 😭😭 im crying #fyp #naturallynahee #love ♬ original sound - nahee

» READ MORE: A Manayunk group helps aging Philadelphians fight loneliness and social isolation

For 24-year-old Shalan Comer, the loneliness from quarantining led her to project feelings of sadness onto others around her and “drag people into the dark space with me — I might be sad but at least I’m not sad alone.”

Things were particularly hard for her as a woman of color living at home, because “in most African American households talking about mental health or dealing with mental health, it’s like, ‘oh no, you’re crazy’ and ‘you’re just sad, it’ll pass.’” A Cigna-commissioned 2021 study of 2,496 U.S. adults found that underrepresented racial groups are more likely to be lonely, including 75% of Hispanic adults and 68% of Black/African American adults.

When the quarantine lifted, Comer moved out to Manayunk and started working at Starbucks. It was refreshing to get outside and keep her mind busy, but Comer still didn’t have friends to keep those feelings of loneliness at bay. She worked over 50 hours a week just to maintain a semblance of happiness.

It wasn’t until she moved into a new apartment complex in December 2023 that she began venturing out to the complex’s social clubhouse and community space. Going to events like karaoke nights and PJ parties at the clubhouse helped her unfreeze from social anxiety.

“I told myself almost every day or whenever I’m presented with an opportunity to get out of this dark spot that you miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take,” she said. “And then I follow up with it’s OK not to feel OK, but it’s even better to get out of your comfort zone, open up, and see what’s out there for you — stop limiting yourself.”

These Philly groups and events are combating social isolation

For over 10 years, Marissa Le built a community in Philly’s nightlife scene as DJ Yolo Ono. But the 33-year-old found the connections she made on the dance floor or at clubs’ bathroom lines didn’t go beyond fleeting moments out on the town.

“Those connections lacked the true depth and understanding that I craved — I would see them in the grocery store and realize I actually don’t know anything about these people,” she said.

In February 2023, Le launched Club Connection, a roving gathering offering a series of activity-oriented events designed for social anxiety, like book swaps and frog pond hikes, to help combat “the loneliness epidemic and friendship recession” that millennials like herself are also dealing with.

“I’m really trying to design for ease and connection and just take the burden off of an individual to initiate it,” she said.

Creating a space for Philadelphians to circumvent the social awkwardness in finding love was on Melissa Schipke’s mind in 2022. After many iterations of her singles event, the 36-year-old founder of Pitch-a-Friend Philly said taking the pitch deck idea into the local dating scene opened a door for more people to talk to strangers at local breweries for love — and work — with ease.

“There’s definitely been a loneliness factor going around the city,” she said. “We’ve had a few presenters say that they don’t do much public speaking at work and that they’ve been trying to get more comfortable and how helpful it was to even just do [the event] for fun.”

Practical tips for treating loneliness

Events like Club Connection and Pitch-a-Friend are good opportunities to dip your “baby pinkie toe in the water and try,” Rudd said, but don’t let the “trepidation of being social” push you back into reclusiveness. She advises her clients to take “baby steps” and develop practices that are sustainable.

“Do something that takes you out of being alone,” she said. “We don’t heal in isolation — we do our individual work, but we heal in community.”

For Mullahey, reaching out to other Philly creatives like Le has helped her gather the confidence to take on her upcoming project. After a year or so in limbo, she’s using her newfound career in photography to build community, with a portrait series showcasing how loneliness has impacted young Philadelphians in a universal way.

She aims to capture side-by-side portraits of herself in her home and 20-year-old Philadelphians in their homes reflecting on times of isolation. The goal is to build connections and combat those feelings of loneliness one photo at a time.

“There’s kind of a oneness to it, where we’re alone in different spaces, but there’s togetherness in it too,” she said.