Saturday, October 25, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

GQ ranks Phillies 14th on 'Worst Franchises' list

Every year, GQ gets someone on their staff who went to a "sports game" once to put together a list of the top 20 worst sports whatevers, then sits back and waits for you to be outraged enough to click on it and react to it, which, judging by this very blog post existing, clearly they've failed.

GQ ranks Phillies 14th on 'Worst Franchises' list

The Phillies´ on deck circle is shown as weather delays the start of a baseball game against the San Diego Padres, Thursday, Sept. 12, 2013, in Philadelphia. (Matt Slocum/AP)
The Phillies' on deck circle is shown as weather delays the start of a baseball game against the San Diego Padres, Thursday, Sept. 12, 2013, in Philadelphia. (Matt Slocum/AP)

Every year, GQ gets someone on their staff who went to a "sports game" once to put together a list of the top 20 worst sports whatevers, then sits back and waits for you to be outraged enough to click on it and react to it, which, judging by this very blog post existing, clearly they've failed.

This year, surprise surprise, they've put the Phillies on their list.

# 14 - Philadelphia Phillies

"They were the first of two American teams to lose more than 10,000 games, and their all-time record is so far below .500, they could go 162-0 for six straight seasons and still not be shooting par. In 130 years, they’ve won only two World Series—same as the Toronto Blue Jays, who started in 1977 and play in ****ing Canada."

Reporting common knowledge (the 10,000 losses, which happened in 2007) as new facts is a great way to prove how in-the-know they are. And not only that, there's some topnotch analysis - did you know the Blue Jays play in Canada? "Canada sucks" jokes! That's so fresh and 2013!

More coverage
 
Most beloved Phillie of all time?
 
Howard set to rejoin Phillies
 
Cole Hamels' first three goals for 2014
 
Follow the Phillies: Download our FREE Pro Baseball app!

With so much focus on the Phillies' bad history, they used a picture of Jonathan Papelbon, a franchise fixture, certainly, who has been on the team for two entire years.

They also put the Pittsburgh Pirates on the list; yes, the playoff-bound, feel-good story Pittsburgh Pirates, because they were probably willing to bet the Pirates had been awful for a 21st consecutive year and checking the MLB standings would take, like, four more seconds, and the editor wants this piece of crap slideshow tweeted out before lunch. Granted, it's an "all time" list, and history doesn't change, so it doesn't require any much more research than they did for the slideshow they did five years ago.

About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
Latest Videos:
Also on Philly.com:
Stay Connected