Gonzo: Olympic highlights and lowlights

It's all over. The 2010 Winter Olympics end today. There's a 50-kilometer men's cross-country race this afternoon, and the men's gold-medal hockey game will be held shortly thereafter. Then they'll have the closing ceremony and snuff out the flame, and Vancouver will go back to doing whatever it is Vancouver does when the five-ring circus isn't in town.

It was a good run. I've spent the last two-plus weeks following the media's endless coverage of the Games. Some of it has been good, most of it has been entertaining for various reasons. Before we say goodbye to this year's Winter Olympics, it's only right to pause and revisit some of its most memorable (and absurd) moments.

10. Allison Baver: The short-track speedskater won bronze in the women's 3,000-meter relay. Even better, the Reading-area resident provided our sister paper with an excuse to put her on the front cover wearing next to nothing. That's my kind of journalism.

9. Bode Miller: His performance in 2006 in Turin was . . . lacking. In Italy, he boasted of partying like an Olympian, then promptly failed to medal. In Vancouver, he got his head right and won three medals in his first three events. He has a young kid now, too - a fact schmaltz-loving reporter Jimmy Roberts earnestly said contributed to Miller's success. "It's a cliche," Roberts said, "but it's true: Having a child changes you." Or maybe Miller just went faster this time. One or the other.

8. Daring outfits: The Olympics featured all sorts of interesting sartorial choices. The American skicross team members had stars all over their uniforms and looked as if they were about to jump the fountain at Caesars in Vegas. The U.S. snowboarders donned pants made to look like jeans. And Johnny Weir did a performance wearing his best Edward Scissorhands gear.

The best (or at least boldest) wardrobes had to be those worn by Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy. The German figure-skating pair dressed as harlequin clowns complete with ruffled collars and a single tear rolling down their respective cheeks. When they skated onto the ice, I thought, "They really ought to perform to something ridiculous like 'Send in the Clowns.' " Then they did.

7. Apolo Anton Ohno: Ohno became the most decorated Winter Olympian in American history. He's also friends with speedskater Shani Davis and called to congratulate him after Davis won gold in the men's 1,500-meter race. According to NBC, Ohno told Davis to pick out his favorite vacation spot so the two could go "and just chill."

Which is worse: that he still says "chill" or that he hasn't shaved his early- 2000s soul patch yet?

6. Al Trautwig: Of all the great lines uttered by NBC's cadre of announcers, no one delivered more than Trautwig. During the men's biathlon, this gem slipped out when Trautwig was talking about Canadian hopeful Jean-Philippe LeGuellec: "Obviously, the crowd is very, very interested to see how he handles that great-looking Canadian rifle."

5. Shaun White: Elsewhere on the memorable-quote front, White went on with Bob Costas after winning gold in the snowboard half-pipe competition. When asked to explain what it was like to take a victory lap, knowing he'd already claimed first place, White said it was a really intense feeling. "It's like all that stuff inside you just ... explodes," White said.

4. Lindsey Vonn: Upon winning the women's downhill, Vonn broke down and cried hysterically. Her husband wandered over and offered some rather lukewarm and monotone congratulations. Then he tried to get her to stop crying with some classic male positive reinforcement: "This is a good thing," he said. Wonder if she made him sleep on the Olympic Village couch after that.

3. Scotty Lago: Olympic athletes sometimes wonder how to display their hard-earned medals. After Lago won bronze in the snowboarding half-pipe event, he chose to show off his prize by featuring it in a semi-tawdry photo - along with an unnamed young woman - that ended up all over the Internet when TMZ put it on blast. Snowboarders are a creative lot, aren't they?

2. Curling: In the team's final match, USA skip John Shuster, who had a tough Olympics, missed another shot and grumbled, "I hate this stupid game." Not me. I'm a curling convert and wrote a column saying so. The piece was mentioned on-air by NBC announcer Fred Roggin when he was discussing the sport's sudden rise in popularity during the Games: " . . .& Philadelphia Inquirer columnist John Gonzalez says 'curling is great.' "

It was like one of those weird one-line movie endorsements by someone you've never heard of about a flick you'll never see using language that makes you cringe. SomeGuy.com says "Curling Rocks!"

1. USA hockey beats Canada: On the list of great American international achievements, it has to rank right up there with stealing Wayne Gretzky from Edmonton and deporting Simon Cowell. (The last one is coming. Just wait.)