Golden rule for linguistics

Long before the term political correctness loped sadly into our lexicon, I heard the N-word for the first time. I was about 7. I think Danny up the street used it, and I immediately sought to establish its meaning. So I asked Mom. "Where did you hear that word?" she demanded. "Danny." "Well, some people use it to mean colored people, but I don't want to hear that word from you."

I immediately walked out onto 10th Street and waited. The first black person to come by was a man, and I said to him, "You know you are a N-word." He kicked me. Not hard, but my butt stung for a time.

I ran inside crying: "A colored man kicked me." "Why?" When I told her, she smiled. "Well, good. I guess you won't do that again."

I never did. My adult children will tell you they never heard the word in our house.

PC is now a buzz word. When I hear it, the speaker is usually bemoaning some linguistic restriction or other. "Pretty soon you won't be able to say anything," they complain, or "Those people should lighten up." There even seems to be an unofficial "PC Brigade" that keeps tabs on impermissible words, phrases, or attitudes.

Paula Deen's recent admission of using the N-word, and its inclusion in the video rant by Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper, provide an opportunity to reexamine our language barriers. First, we should agree that if a group finds a term offensive, the rest of us should respect that and avoid using the word. Sounds simple, and in the case of the N-word it is, but the task can be fearsome as rules change.

The words Negro and colored, once perfectly acceptable and used by the great civil-rights leaders through the 1960s, gave way to black. Afro-American morphed into African American. However, while the N-word signifies racist language (except when used among some African Americans and in certain music genres), use of the previously acceptable terms is usually viewed as simply "out of touch," which, for some, is worse than being racist.

Being in the know, in the club, linguistically, is a very big deal for many. My Indian son-in-law knows more about football than Riley Cooper does, but Glen says "third down and six yards," instead of "third and six," so he's out of the club. Football has dozens of linguistic land mines; when you step on one, you reveal that you have not grown up steeped in the lingo, which is not spoken in Mumbai. To see what I mean, try calling soccer soccer in England.

Then there are the instances where it becomes easier to understand the frustration of the anti-PC folks. I listened to a historian explain why the term Oriental is now offensive to Asians. She said Oriental means Eastern, which puts Asians out on the margins as opposed to us, who are central. This struck me as odd, since I always referred to "us" not as Centralists but as Westerners - Occidentals, if you will. They are East; we are West. Nobody's in the center. Oriental is fine.

Except it isn't fine. Oriental is now unacceptable. Not only that, but the PC Brigade forgot about the people of India and Sri Lanka when they substituted Asian for Oriental. So now we have Asian and South Asian, and I suspect North Asian is on the eastern horizon because we don't want anyone to feel marginalized.

In some cases, we applaud the evolution of language, but wonder where it will end. Fortunately, once-common slurs for gay persons are no longer acceptable. They gave way to homosexual, which gave way to gay, which, for some reason, dispersed into gay and lesbian. All's well, right? Wrong. Gay people have this terrible penchant for inclusiveness - I think it's genetic - so the acronym LGBT has evolved, to bring bisexuals and transsexuals into the fold.

When a gay friend first confronted me with this acronym, I went into a bit of an anti-PC rant. "So," I said, "how about we go with LGBTC, to include people who are just confused?" I thought I was hilarious until my friend mentioned that people use the term LGBTQ to add those who are questioning. Some append even more letters, but I've made the point. It's hard to keep up.

Perhaps we're on the wrong track here. Instead of worrying about whether you are in or out of touch, correct or incorrect, jargon-savvy or clueless, how about observing a simple maxim? Be of good will. Recognize, as Mom did, that if you are flat-out offensive, you deserve a good swift kick, at age 7 or 97. If you missed out on the latest and coolest expression, try to employ the term favored by the group in question - that's just polite - but don't go all to pieces over it.

And finally, for good and for all, adhere to your citizenship mandate: All men, all women, are created equal, endowed with rights that cannot be taken away, including the right to live, to live in liberty, to live in the manner that brings them happiness. Start there, and maybe political correctness will give way to human solidarity.