Guys and dollars on Wall Street

Nathan Detroit bumps into Benny Southstreet reading the paper on the corner of 44th Street and Eighth Avenue.

Nathan: Hey, Joe, what sheet you got there? That ain't the Daily News.

Benny: I'm checking out the Journal.

Nathan: Wall Street? There's no ponies in there. Don't tell me you've gone in for that legit gambling?

Benny: It may be legal, but it ain't legit, Detroit. I'm telling you, those banksters downtown can't lose. The game's fixed.

Nathan: You'd better give that Journal your whole eyeball. Diamond Jamie of the Mogo Chase mob just took a hit for three billion, and he's still bleeding.

Benny: You're kidding me. He and the Gold Man were the only high pillows to stay out of dutch with the shack swindles.

Nathan: Well you read. Still, Diamond is getting his nose cleaned but good as we speak. He floated his crap default-swap game to Scroogetown, where even the sky is no limit. Had a guy called the Big Whale fronting his bets.

Benny: What did he bet on?

Nathan: Get this: He bet most of the corporations over here would make good on their markers.

Benny: The big boys are doing fine. They just ain't hiring.

Nathan: I'm not finished. He's betting against the sky rollers at the same time.

Benny: They usually lose — still a good bet.

Nathan: It's more complicated than that. Some scam about basis points and how the government's markers do against the suits.

Benny: Is that the whole scam?

Nathan: Are you kidding? Diamond has been apologizing all week without tipping his hand.

Benny: Well, I apologize to my doll all the time for I don't know what.

Nathan: Yeah, but Diamond knows more than he's jawing.

Benny: So he's betting on what the market guys will do?

Nathan: And who knows how those mugs will react, what with all the cross action in that neighborhood?

Benny: Not those Euro thugs.

Nathan: They've tied all their shoes together and now they want to go in different directions.

Benny: I thought Don Juan and Pat the Shamrock were behaving themselves.

Nathan: True, but then Frenchie and the Greek got booted by their mobs, and now nobody knows from their markers.

Benny: I thought they were all under Deutsch Merkel's skirt.

Nathan: Yeah, but the hem was too tight. The backfield was always in motion.

Benny: How's Diamond still bleeding?

Nathan: Well, when they started losing, the Whale doubled down, but the Hedge Frauds sharked in for the easy action. He got rid of the Whale, but the pot's still growing.

Benny: Hey, a man can bet on anything he wants. But a crazy bet like that, in crazy times like these, you can only put up your own pocket.

Nathan: Uncle Sam is bankrolling this — lending to Diamond, Gold, and others for no juice, hoping they'll spread it around to some down-and-out homes and shops — and they go play this whack with it.

Benny: I bet Detective Dodd and Captain Frank will bring some heat for this.

Nathan: Diamond has been chinning under the Cap Dome all year about how they should let the big boys play. Everybody wins for a while, and when the pot's called in, only the suckers pay.

Benny: Ice ain't taking the fall.

Nathan: Of course not. He put his moll, Ina the Crisis, on roller skates.

Benny: The blonde with the big pearls?

Nathan: He told her if she clams up, she'll walk with enough oyster fruit to choke on.

Benny: I told you the game was a fix.

Nathan: The doll always takes the fall on the Wall.

Benny: Just like when they sent Zoe Cruz on a long cruise after the last bubble.

Nathan: Here's six bits. Get the Daily News on me and stick with your ponies. Downtown, no matter what game they're playing, those jokers are wild.