I still love the Philadelphia Phillies despite that awful pink 'anti-gay' backpack

YOU KNOW that team you care so much about? Well, they're homophobic bigots.

Those weren't the actual words used by my friend - an award-winning blogger and generally a pretty wonderful human being - but that's what the words he wrote in a Sept. 2 blog post meant to me.

And they stung like hell.

He'd sent me a private message saying, "I wanted to make sure you saw today's post - it features your beloved Phillies . . ."

His blog generally focuses on LGBT issues, and the Phillies had just debuted their "It Gets Better" anti-bullying video. My assumption - a reasonable one, I thought - was that he'd written about the video. I happily went to his blog (which I read regularly and have even contributed to) and was taken aback to find a post alleging that "major league baseball teaches kids how to bully," with my "beloved Phillies" held up as the worst offender.

It was the bait-and-switch that threw me - the lure of I've written about the team you love coupled with the slap in the face of finding out that he'd condemned them. He's not a big sports guy, so perhaps he doesn't fully understand the personal connection between a devoted fan and her team.

His post was prompted by a piece in the New York Times about the latest craze in MLB bullpen rookie hazing - making the junior-most member of the staff carry supplies out to the bullpen before each game in the silliest, most demeaning backpacks the veteran relievers can find.

In the Phillies' case, it was a pink Hello Kitty backpack adorned with a pink feather boa that Michael Stutes dutifully carried all season (except during Michael Schwimer's stints with the club, when he took over as lowest man on the totem pole).

As an activist for the LGBT community, I understand why my friend was incensed by this practice of "pink hazing," as he called it - the idea that pink equals girlie and men forced to be girlie equals humiliating.

And, as a writer, I imagine he couldn't resist the perfect storm of timing and details. (Stutes is one of the athletes featured in that "It Gets Better" video.)

Focusing on the Phillies was the most effective way to drive his point home. (He later told me it was the addition of the pink boa that really pushed him over the edge.) Never mind that MLB rookies would probably be willing to take the field naked if it meant they'd get to stay up in the Show.

Naturally, I want to defend my team, to point out that the Phillies are one of only seven MLB clubs so far (out of 30) to make an "It Gets Better" video and that they debuted it at their ninth annual Gay Community Night. And I want to emphasize how much the Phillies organization strives to celebrate every community represented by their huge fan base and to talk about the many charitable endeavors undertaken by the athletes themselves, benefiting everything from disadvantaged kids to the environment to animals.

All that said, though, I do agree with my friend's basic premise about the negative message being sent with this pink-hazing business, especially in light of what we now know about the abuse perpetrated on non-gender-conforming kids - abuse that's led to suicide in several cases. As one commenter pointed out, the practice isn't just teaching kids to bully, it's teaching them who to bully. In my heart, I'd like to believe that the pink backpack-and-boa ensemble was chosen without realizing the potential ramifications of the message it sends and that the fine men on my beloved team would not knowingly "feed a culture of hate," as my friend suggests.

A great thing about my friend's blog is that he generally includes a call to action. In this case, he encourages my Phillies to "uncouple their rookie relief pitcher hazing from the message that pink is girlie is bad."

As a devout Phillies fan, there is much to be proud of with the current team, on and off the field. Perhaps they could give us one more reason to love them by taking my friend's idea and replacing the current bag with one that's wonderfully silly but non-gender-specific.

Of course, if they really want to humiliate poor Michael Stutes, they could always make him carry a Mets backpack.