Michael Smerconish: How city can turn fat into gold

NEW York City is on the move, undertaking extraordinary measures to protect residents from themselves, and earning the envy of those of us in so-called second- class cities.

Fear not, Philadelphia, for New York's pioneering provides us with an unprecedented opportunity.

First, Mayor Michael Bloomberg had the fortitude to ban smoking. Next was the city's prohibition of trans-fats. And now a requirement that restaurants with more than 15 locations nationwide - which means more than 2,000 venues, or about 10 percent of New York's eateries - must post the caloric content of their food. Walk into a McDonald's in Manhattan, and

you'll see two numbers next to that Big Mac: $3.79 and 540 - the price and the number of calories you'll swallow along with the sandwich. Fines for noncompliance run as high as $2,000.

Bloomberg's concern for his constituency transcends the normal role of an elected official. Such is his level of compassion that he is almost like, say, a big brother to his electorate, helping shrink waistlines while swelling the city's coffers.

There is, however, a deficiency in that recent initiative. I perceive a weak spot, a point of vulnerability. And just maybe, if Mayor Nutter exerts some leadership and closes this loophole, our city can transcend Gotham and step out of the shadows that have for too long defined us as merely an Amtrak stop between New York and Washington.

The way I see it, New York City stopped short of physically dissuading its citizens from perpetuating our country's roundward spiral toward corpulence. That's where we can go them one better.

So I'm hereby proposing to Mayor Nutter and City Council the implementation of a "Philadelphia caloric credit," modeled after the better-known carbon credits, which are a means of mitigating the effects of global warming. Just as carbon credits are used as a tool to reduce greenhouse gases by allowing emitting parties to buy "indulgences," a caloric-credit program would similarly reduce caloric intake by attaching a financial value to our eating.

How it would work: Effective immediately, scales will be installed in every city restaurant. The number needed will depend on the fondness that the city's corpulent exhibit for a particular eating establishment. I'm thinking one scale for a Saladworks, two for a deli, and three or more for a cheesesteak establishment.

Next to each scale will be an easy-to-decipher listing of the recommended weight for individuals of differing heights and ages.

For example: According to Weight Watchers, a man like me (46 years old and 5 feet 9 inches tall) should weigh 169 pounds. I don't. I am about 194.

So, under the program, a levy would apply to my excess poundage as defined by the pre-meal weigh-in. I would be assessed a caloric levy for my extra 25 pounds. If I went to Geno's and wanted a "Wiz wid," I'd have to pay a millage based on that extra weight. At the end of the year, that amount would be added to my city wage tax.

WE'D ALL still pay the same for a cheesesteak, but the more gluttonous among us would pay the city a fee for their extra tonnage.

Meanwhile, the malnourished will be the beneficiary of a tax credit on their annual returns.

Say a guy with my age and height weighs only 154 pounds

- he would get a caloric credit on his wage tax based on the price of the cheesesteak calculated by his being 15 pounds underweight.

The free market will thereby create a financial incentive for each of us to reduce our caloric intake - hence the name, the caloric credit.

Look, I know this can work. I have a cousin who knows somebody who went to Wharton for a few months, and he told my cousin it sounded reasonable.

I know what you're thinking. Sounds good, but the program might have the unintended effect of driving eaters out of restaurants and behind closed doors.

Two things: First, we empower L&I to monitor the program at supermarkets and convenience stores.

Purchasing a bag of chips at Wawa? Ice cream at Genuardi's? White bread and mayo at Super Fresh? Step on the scale because, again, it will cost you if you exceed your recommended weight. Those below the recommended weight would receive the caloric credit. Affidavits might have to be signed if there is some question as to whether straw purchases are being made for groceries.

Secondly, we expand police powers under "stop and frisk" and permit law enforcement

to inspect grocery bags randomly.

So as to avoid complaints of discrimination, we will do it just like the airlines. Just like the TSA stops blue-haired old ladies flying to Florida who could never be terrorists so as to mask their real interest in Arab males, the city cops will stop the emaciated so as to mask their real target, the heavyset.

One more thing. Long term, the caloric-credit program will seize a revenue opportunity that has gone unexploited at holidays.

Halloween and Easter will be economic boom times in Philadelphia under an economic program I'm developing.

More on that later.

Time to think big, Philadelphia. *

Listen to Michael Smerconish weekdays 5-9 a.m. on the Big Talker, 1210/AM. Read him Sundays in the Inquirer. Contact him via the Web at www.mastalk.com.