Food as comfort: N.J. bill would end ban on refreshments at funeral homes
Pretty soon, New Jersey mourners may be able to sip on their Frappuccino before bending over to say farewell to Aunt Bessie.
Pretty soon, New Jersey mourners may be able to sip on their Frappuccino before bending over to say farewell to Aunt Bessie.
A bill pending in the Legislature would lift a decades-old ban that bars mourners from consuming food and beverages in funeral homes.
New Jersey and Pennsylvania are the only states that prohibit refreshments in funeral parlors.
"I would like to be able to offer coffee and doughnuts to families," said Timothy Hutton, manager of W.R. Woody Funeral Home in Burlington City. "It helps people to relax and feel more comfortable."
No one knows exactly when or why New Jersey's ban was imposed. But funeral directors believe it stems from concerns about public health and keeping food away from embalmed bodies.
Today, many funeral homes have separate rooms or sitting areas where light refreshments could be served, said Assemblywoman Nancy Pinkin (D., Middlesex), who sponsored the bill.
"This is an antiquated law that needs to be addressed," said Rick Caruso, owner of Falco, Caruso & Leonard Funeral Homes, based in Pennsauken. "I'm looking forward to the change."
Across the country, states have gradually lifted similar prohibitions.
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed a law last week that allows funeral homes to serve light refreshments, snacks, and nonalcoholic beverages on the premises. Funeral homes are not allowed to cater the service. Massachusetts lawmakers are drafting regulations that would allow food.
"I don't think people are envisioning they would be doing it in the room with the body," Pinkin said this week. "I see it as a smaller thing in the facility."
Her bill, introduced in February, seeks primarily to provide comfort for mourners waiting to pay their respects at a funeral home, or for grieving family members who may spend hours greeting mourners, she said. "You could be waiting a very long time to get in."
Currently, funeral homes can provide only water and peppermints on the premises. If the bill becomes law, participation would be voluntary.
The New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association, which represents about 500 funeral homes, supports the legislation, said Adam Guziejewski, deputy director.
"Apparently, they get requests for this all the time. They hate telling people no," Guziejewski said. "They've really focused on the idea of hospitality and being able to really provide service to a family."
Because food is a large part of the grieving process in many cultures, whether at a repast after a funeral or burial or during shivah in a home, it makes sense to allow it at funeral homes, Hutton said.
"There will be those who object to it, but are they really paying attention to what the consumers' needs or wants are?" Caruso said. "There is something comfortable about breaking bread."
Hutton said his funeral home began putting out mints several years ago after a mourner suggested it, saying, "Putting something sweet in your mouth takes away the bitterness of the moment."
He also noted that years ago, wakes were held in homes, with bodies on display in the front parlor and food served nearby in the kitchen or dining room.
"I wouldn't go to that magnitude of serving a course during a viewing," Hutton said.
Some funeral directors have expressed concern about messy mourners dropping food or spilling beverages on the carpet. Others believe having refreshments may be viewed as disrespecting the deceased.
Caruso said funeral homes may consider adding a special room where refreshments can be served, and including food and beverages in the funeral package. The discretion would be left to the funeral home.
"It all comes down to a cup of coffee right now. Who knows where it leads?" he said.
Pinkin said she expects the bill to come up in the fall when the Legislature resumes its session. She will ask to have it posted.
"They are doing it in 48 other states and have found a way for it not to be problematic," she said. "A lot of things have changed."
The Pennsylvania Funeral Directors Association in Harrisburg plans to survey its 1,100 members this fall to "ask the food question again," said James Eirkson, assistant executive director.
State law bars food from being served in any part of a funeral establishment. Nonalcoholic beverages may be served in an area approved by the state board.
The ban was lifted briefly in 2012 after a group of funeral directors successfully sued the state to have it revoked. But the ban was reinstated in 2014 after a federal appeals court overturned the ruling.
"You have people on both sides of the fence," Eirkson said Thursday. "At the end of the day, they all want to serve the families."
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