PA pols serve words to relish

OK KIDS, in advance of that all-American holiday when too many eat too much of their favorite foods, I offer a sampling of the journalistic equivalent of yummy.

For just as tasty turkey, gravy, cornbread or oyster stuffing, candied yams, greens, sweet potato or pecan pie excite the palates of your family and friends, delicious quotes from the public sector get journalistic juices flowing.

Pennsylvania politics provides an all-you-can-believe buffet.

There are far too many bon mots to mention. But here are a few of my favorite 2014 four-star examples:

"Yo, good looking and Oowee . . . thank you twice."

That's from Philly state Rep. Vanessa Brown.

It was reported in March when the Inquirer broke the story of a sting case in which four Philly lawmakers and a former Traffic Court judge were taped taking cash and jewelry from a lobbyist working undercover with prosecutors.

A transcript showed Brown's enthusiastic reaction as she allegedly accepted and placed in her purse an envelope stuffed with $2,000.

The two-time thanks, no doubt, is one for each G.

Neither Brown nor the other lawmakers have been charged. But Philly D.A. Seth Williams last month charged former Traffic Court Judge Thomasine Tynes and said the charges are "not the last" coming from a case state Attorney General Kathleen Kane called too flawed to prosecute.

In May, we got this appetizing affirmation.

"I am the f---ing senator. I do what the f--- I want, how I want, and ain't nobody going to change me."

Ah, a scrumptious side served by then-Philly state Sen. LeAnna Washington.

She was quoted by a former chief of staff who said that was her response to his efforts to get her to stop using tax dollars for her annual birthday party/fundraiser.

Washington was charged with theft and conflict of interest. She lost a re-election bid then pleaded guilty to a lesser charge in a deal to save her pension and avoid prison which, one assumes, would really change her.

"It was a blur . . . I was like Yosemite Sam from 'Looney Tunes.' "

This luscious lick is from state Rep. Marty Flynn, of Scranton. He said it last month explaining to media how he and Erie Rep. Ryan Bizzarro (a name perfect for service in our Legislature) reacted during a late-night mugging by would-be bandits on the streets of Harrisburg.

A goon pointed a pistol at Bizzarro. Flynn, a former prison guard, pulled his own pistol. Shots were fired. But no one was hit because Flynn "was like Yosemite Sam from 'Looney Tunes.' "

I relish the quote because it shows I'm not the only one who compares our lawmakers to characters from "Looney Tunes."

"They probably shouldn't have fired him."

This gastronomic gift came from Gov. Corbett two days after losing re-election. It refers to the 2011 firing of Penn State's Joe Paterno.

It's tasty three ways: the "they" is the PSU board of which Corbett was and is a member; he was present via phone hook-up during the unanimous vote to can JoPa (and said nothing); then he told Fox News Paterno's "actions or the failure to act" caused him to lose confidence in the coach. And possibly some memory cells?

Finally, it's tough to quote Kathleen Kane since so much of what she says is retracted or altered the next day.

But last week in a statement related to her appearance before a grand jury on alleged leaks from her agency, she referred to herself as "the chief law enforcement officer of the fifth largest state in the country."

Yeah, see, that would be Illinois. Pennsylvania's sixth largest. Has been for years.

The-thea-the-thea-the that's all folks!

Happy Thanksgiving. Feed yourselves. Feed the poor. And pols, please keep feeding the journalists.

Columns: ph.ly/JohnBaer