Love: Phyllis Kalmey & Don Colanero

More than 20 years ago, a friend of Don's, who knew he was single, spoke to him about her coworker, Phyllis, with intent to set them up.

Phyllis sounded like a great woman. And Don loves kids, so her three were not an issue. But Phyllis was still going through a divorce. "Not now," Don said.

Since they had mutual friends, Don and Phyllis got to know each other anyway. Don was invited to a party at Phyllis' house. He spent much of the evening playing on the floor with her son Scotty, who was then 3.

Phyllis and Don even double dated a few times, but they were not each other's date.

In 1994, Don went on what he calls a dating sabbatical. "I swore off women for a year," he said.

His pledge did not keep him from noticing how genuine Phyllis was, and how much he enjoyed talking to her.

"Phyllis was on the top of my 'If I were dating' list."

Phyllis had developed an interest in Don, too. "I liked his humor, and the way he talks - he's very easy to talk to," she said. "He really cares about people, and I liked the way he treated my kids."

The Woman Sabbatical of 1994 wasn't quite over when Phyllis called Don to ask if he'd like to go to their friends' band's show.

Don saw that Phyllis was looking for an excuse for the two of them to get together, and helped her out. "Let's make this a real date," he suggested.

On Dec. 18, 1994, the two went to Longwood Gardens.

"We've been together every weekend since," said Phyllis, who is now 54.

Don, now 62, said, "I could see my future, just about, in that one date."

Five years after the Longwood trip, Phyllis and Don talked about his moving in with her, her three kids, and her mom. Don really wanted to, but had a condition: "If I move in, I want to be a full-fledged family member. And I want a vote on that from everyone."

Don met separately with each of the kids. Dana, who was then 16, and Scott, who was then 9, gave their approval.

Tina, then 14, said, "Well, if we can put up with Grandma, we can put up with you."

Don took that as a yes.

Several months later, Don and Phyllis hosted a party for 50 at their Mount Laurel home. The couple were doing a karaoke duet of Brian Setzer's "You're the Boss" when Scotty pulled the plug.

In the sudden silence, Don turned to Phyllis with a ring. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world?"

She was stunned. "It's the quietest Phyllis has ever been, before or since," Don notes.

Phyllis held out her hand, and Don put the ring on it.

Their engagement lasted 13 years, most of that because they decided to wait until the kids were through with college.

Don had thoughts of a very small wedding at a riverfront B&B, and since this was his first wedding, he thought he should have it his way. Phyllis wanted a bigger affair.

Then last spring, Phyllis had an idea: "How about we get married at the racetrack?"

Phyllis works in the IT department at Gartner Inc. When they met, Don was an instrument technician at Mobil Research & Development Corp. But after retiring in 2000, Don decided to find a job that felt like play.

Don is now the flagging and communications supervisor at New Jersey Motorsports Park in Millville, N.J. - the same track where he races cars.

He loved Phyllis' idea, and was willing to have a bigger wedding as a compromise. In retrospect, the 125 guests were just right, Don said.

The two planned much of the wedding, but could not nail down the date until less than two months ahead of time, when the Navy granted Tina's request for leave.

Many guests came early to watch Don in a qualifying race - he took second.

At wedding time, Don and Phyllis drove up to the winner's podium in a friend's vintage Ferrari.

They stood at the foot of the podium. Dana, Tina, and Scott, who were the maids-of-honor and best man, watched from the first-, second- and third-place tiers above.

There was a moment of silence to honor Phyllis' mom, Jean, and Don's dad, also named Don, and others who had passed on. Two balloons rose into the sky in their memory.

The minister poked a little fun at the couple for taking 18 years to marry. Throughout the ceremony she would pause, give a meaningful look to the guests, and repeat, "18 years!"

After the vows, "The William Tell Overture" poured out of the speakers. The newlyweds hopped back in the Ferrari, and led 50 carloads of guests in three laps around the track.

The couple walked in to their officer's club reception to the song "Alegria," and their guests chanting the Spanish word, which means happiness and joy. Their first dance was to Gino Vannelli's "Omens of Love." And then each of the three kids, the oldest of whom is now 30, proposed a toast.

Don and Phyllis had planned their own toast of sorts, to be delivered to their guests skit-style. But Don's glasses got stuck in his suit coat pocket, and broke down the middle when he tried to pull them out. Unable to read the planned lines, they winged it.

When Don and Phyllis stepped out of the Ferrari at the spot where they would marry, their guests burst into applause. "In a flash, I started thinking about meeting her, and now here we are, with 120-some sets of eyes looking at us," Don said. "I don't think I've ever felt that good. It was almost too much to handle, feeling so good."

Phyllis knows Don's chief goal is to be a good person. In her vows, she told him in front of all that he is "the epitome of a good man." It brought her to tears.

A bargain: Don always wanted to drive a Ferrari on his wedding day. He figured he'd pay an astronomical rental fee. But then friend Jim smiled and told him to enjoy his for the day as a wedding gift. Don remains wowed by Jim's generosity and trust.

The splurge: Wedding rings. When they got engaged, Don bought the couple matching yellow gold rings with five diamonds in them, each diamond symbolizing a member of their new family. The couple figured they'd use them as wedding bands, too. But as the day grew nearer, both decided their wedding needed its own symbol: white gold bands, with two diamonds, representing the couple.

The travel budget was spent on an earlier trip to Hawaii to meet Tina's aircraft carrier for the Tiger Cruise, the post-deployment trip back to the San Diego home port. Besides, the day after the wedding, Don had a race. His teammates decorated the race car with "Just Married" signs and strung cans from the back. He took second. There was a minimoon to Saratoga Springs the next week - a gift from Don's sister, nephew, and niece-in-law.

Officiant

The Rev. Kathy Spitzer of Arden United Methodist Church, Martinsburg, W.Va.

Venue

New Jersey Motorsports Park, Thunderbolt Raceway, Millville, N.J.

Catering

NJMP Catering & Events

Photography

The couple's niece, Ali Jones of Pemberton, and cousin Teresa Colanero of Paulsboro

Video

Daughter Dana Kalmey

of New York City

Music

Al Armato, Atco, N.J.

Dress

David's Bridal, Maple Shade

Invitations

Phyllis and Dana Kalmey

Tell us in a short e-mail – at least six weeks before your ceremony – why we should feature your love story. Send it to weddings@phillynews.com. Unfortunately, we can't personally respond to all submissions. If your story is chosen, you will be contacted in the weeks before your wedding.