Mirror, Mirror: Armpits au naturel? Don't do it

Hairy armpits seem to be going mod.

But this tuft of a trend belongs in the just-because-the-rich-and-famous-are-doing-it-doesn't-mean-you-should box.

Truly, don't try this at home.

Summer 2015 is supposed to be the summer of sleek minimalism: strapless, flowing maxi dresses; tank tops paired with jogger pants; and sheer blouses tucked into boyfriend jeans. Let me tell you: A shock of underarm hair - even if it's dyed pink like Miley Cyrus' - is just, well, unsightly.

So why is anybody trying this? For starters, the questioning of gender norms is in the zeitgeist. So that's likely a contributing factor. Millennial actress and artist Jemima Kirke - the sexually liberated Jessa Johansson on HBO's Girls - recently wore a two-piece Rosie Assoulin gown to the CFDA Fashion Awards, armpit hair out there. Madonna posted a photo on Instagram of herself in bra and armpit hair. Four years ago, Lady Gaga was at a British awards ceremony with blue hair under there.

And Miss Miley, rumored to be dating Victoria's Secret model Stella Maxwell, wore a strapless red and heart-covered Jeremy Scott gown to the amfAR gala last week, waving for all the world to see.

To be honest, I feel a little hesitation taking this stand against something that's natural. After all, in what book does it say that a woman's hair should be long and straight, that she have an hourglass figure, that her underarms be nekkid?

Furthermore, who am I to knock fellow fashionistas who have every right to find American women's obsession with hairless legs and armpits discriminatory?

Alas, I'm a product of the Sex and the City era, when brows were plucked, legs were Naired, and nether regions were waxed. So all this fuzzy drama is messing with my well-established hygiene/fashion connection.

Technically, the shaving of women's armpit hair is less well-established - only since about 1910, when sleeveless evening gowns and the rise of safety razors made the smooth underarm aspirational, explained Kristina Haugland, associate curator of textiles at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Not to mention the growing number of indoor bathrooms.

"People were paying more attention to bathing and cleanliness, and manufacturers like Gillette jumped on this," she said. "Over time, there was a cultural constraint - kind of like getting rid of halitosis - for women to do something about their underarms."

The hair got a reprieve in the late 1960s and '70s, when braless women proudly let their underarm hair grow freely under their peace T-shirts as a way to rebel against male standards of beauty.

Women went back to shaving in the following decades, and men were considered the hairier sex. In the late 1990s and early 2000s, women - and even some men - adopted a clean-shaven extreme.

Three years ago, men began growing their beards back. Last year, bushier eyebrows for women began trending. And it also seems that granny pants are replacing thongs, so we know what that means for the hair down there.

This month, Chinese feminist Xiao Meili sponsored a photo contest on her country's social network, Weibo, urging women to post pics of armpit hair as a way to discuss gender equality.

Like many fashion trends, fuzzy pits - no matter how unsightly I think they are - come with valid social justifications. And if this is a political thing for you, and you believe it's important to go au naturel, I won't stand in your way.

But as a fashion statement? It's not a good look.

So, for the love of Venus, please shave.

215-854-2704@ewellingtonphl