You can guess what that "thing" is. Many women have been saying this line for a long time, especially when they've been burned before. And now, especially with the popularity of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, it seems that the dating world really is turning into hook-up central.
I thought it would be fun to put this theory to the test by seeing if there was any research out there saying that men, more than women, were not looking for serious relationships. While I can't speak for their survey methods, and the sample size is fairly small (503 men in the US aged 35-55 with $100K+ household income, an associate's degree or higher, and an interest in a relationship with women), there is a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, in conjunction with the online dating website Anastasia Date (if Russian women are your thing). It says that 70 percent of the men surveyed who are open to meeting someone through online dating are actually looking for a serious relationship over a physical one. 64 percent of these men said that they could fall for someone they've never had sex with, and 39 percent said that they could fall for someone they've never met in person! (Let's just make sure they don't get Catfished.)
Digging a little deeper, I saw that Antonio Sabato Jr. (yes, like from TV) is writing a dating advice blog for men on Anastasia Date, so I figured I would see if I could get him to answer some questions… and he did! He basically confirmed what we all know, that online dating is the way things are going, so if you're single, it's a good idea to jump on the bandwagon. When I asked what advice would help guys the most from his own personal experience, he said, "Throughout my life and career, I've had the opportunity to meet and date a lot of interesting, beautiful and intelligent women all over the world. I know that the dating scene is tough these days for guys – it's not easy to just go out and meet the woman of your dreams at a bar or club in your neighborhood. Believe it or not, most guys are really shy when it comes to speaking to women in person, and talking to them online first allows guys to be more themselves. It can enable guys' fun and true personalities to come out much faster, too."
We may need to take the survey results with a grain of salt because of the small sample size, but the point is clear. The reality is that some people (both men and women) are looking for long-term relationships, and some, of course, are not. My advice is to be smart about setting yourself up to meet someone with similar objectives to yours. For example, if you're looking for a hook-up, you probably won't join eHarmony, which not only costs money, but also requires you to fill out a very long questionnaire (you'll need a good hour on your hands) before even getting started. And, if you're looking for a serious relationship, then some of the apps out there or the free online dating sites are probably not the best options for you because anyone can join (and not commit financially), so you have no idea what people's intentions are.
So, do men only want one thing? Oftentimes, the answer is yes. But that "thing" could very well be a serious relationship.