Her in-laws still friendly with the 'other woman'

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an affair 18 years ago. We worked through it and are doing well in our marriage.

My question concerns my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, both of whom continue to remain in contact with the "other woman." They still worship at the same church, bought her baby gifts, etc. I have mentioned how it hurts me that they are Facebook friends with her, but it has fallen on deaf ears. I know they have known her longer than me, but I am family.

Abby, I would like to know if I am crazy for letting this bother me. Should I let it go? I have forgiven my husband, but what they are doing makes it hard for me at times. What should I do?

- My Heart Hurts

DEAR HEART HURTS: By now you should have realized that you can't control your husband's mother or sister. That they chose to continue to maintain their relationship with this woman despite the fact that she nearly wrecked your marriage is regrettable.

But all this happened 18 years ago, and your marriage survived it. If you can let this go, I think you should. A wise person once said that we can be as happy as we choose to be. Lessen your emotional dependence on your in-laws, and I predict you will be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I find it difficult to lie. This trait suits me well except in one area. When friends or family share information about being ill, experiencing a death or any sort of tragedy, almost everyone else responds with, "You're in my prayers."

I am an atheist and do not claim I will pray for those individuals because that would be lying. So what is the proper response when prayer is off the table?

- Texas Reader

DEAR READER: A proper response would be, "I'm sorry for what you're going through," "I'll send positive thoughts for So-and-So's recovery," or, "How sad. I'm sorry to hear it."