Families can't handle same-sex union

DEAR ABBY: Thanks to a change in state law, my partner and I can finally marry. We're now struggling with whether to invite our parents and families to our wedding. Although they have been respectful of us together and seemed to love my partner, it has become increasingly obvious that they don't want to really talk about our lives. Specifically, our new right to marry.

No one has said a word to us about the marriage law, even though it dominated the news for months before being passed in May. After prompting, they said they support our having the same rights, but have a problem calling us married.

We are going to be married and have decided to invite only those who sincerely support us to share our special day. Because I'm so hurt by their silence on this, how do I tactfully let them know they aren't invited to the wedding without severing all ties?

-Newly Equal in Minnesota

DEAR NEWLY EQUAL: Invite your family to the wedding. Because they love you and have accepted your partner, they may wish to attend. Remember, the concept of marriage equality is a very new one, and not everyone adapts quickly to change. Regardless of whether they have a problem calling you married, the fact is you will be married according to the laws of your state. And that's what is important.

DEAR ABBY: In late January, my sister left a $20 bill at the front desk of my hairdresser's salon and told the receptionist to give it to me when I came in and tell me it was my Christmas present. When I objected to the impersonal manner of the "gift," my sister got mad and told me I was being "ridiculous." We haven't spoken since. Was I wrong to object?

-Mad in Maine

DEAR MAD: Obviously, you and your sister aren't close. If she didn't even bother to enclose the money with a card or note, I don't blame you for being miffed, particularly if you customarily exchange gifts.