Dear Abby: Hubby's porn addiction thrusts her sex life off-track

DEAR ABBY: My husband is addicted to online porn. Our sex life has suffered massively because of it. He seems uninterested in sex with me.

My woman's intuition told me there had to be a reason for him turning to porn, so I checked our computer's history log and found he has been surfing gay porn. He does watch straight porn, but now peppers it with male-on-male porn as well.

It has shattered my world. I don't know what to think or what to do.

- J. in Brighton, England

DEAR J.: Your husband may be curious, bisexual or have discovered (late) that he is gay. It happens. You need to have a frank conversation with him. Remain calm, stay strong and remember that you, too, are entitled to a sex life. You have nothing to lose by discussing this, and everything to gain.

If you need more help afterward, consider going online and contacting the Straight Spouse Network at straightspouse.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in therapy for four years. I like my therapist, who has helped me immensely. However, over the past year, she has become increasingly tardy in keeping her appointment times.

I understand there are sometimes emergencies, but being a half-hour late every week is excessive. I feel it is disrespectful to me. She keeps saying I just don't understand.

How can I get across to her how frustrated I am? Or do I need to find a new therapist?

- By the Clock in Connecticut

DEAR BY THE CLOCK: Tell your therapist exactly how this is affecting you and ask what her problem is. You shouldn't have to wait to see someone you're paying to talk with.

I agree that being late for your appointment is disrespectful if it happens regularly. You may need to find another therapist. If that's the case, be sure to tell her why you are leaving. It takes courage to be assertive, but it will help you in your personal growth.