Tell Me About It: How to pronounce this baby's name

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Question: My family is Irish and my brother and his wife named their baby daughter "Aisling," a rather traditional name. The name is pronounced similar to "Ashley" traditionally, but they are pronouncing it "A-zling." My father insists on using the traditional pronunciation, arguing that it's important for a connection to the Old Country and family heritage. He says that when she grows up and has friends he will call her "A-zling" in front of them, but that it's OK for our side of the family to call her "Ashley."

I haven't talked to my brother about this, and I know it's their call, but my father has asked me whether he's way out of line. I tried just telling him to work it out with his son, but he insists he wants my opinion, and I'm torn. Is this an "insist on not expressing an opinion" situation?

Answer: I wouldn't call this a "clash" - your father is asking whether he's out of line! If names are an EQ test, he's at least in the upper quartile.

Because this isn't a disaster by any stretch, I think it's fine to give an opinion you're being begged to give. For what it's worth, what you have already told your father - that you see his working it out with his son as the highest priority, above any issues of heritage or pronunciation - is, in fact, an opinion. But you can certainly go beyond that and say what you think of his decision to act unilaterally as spokesman for the Old Country.

I do hope someone is speaking up for the child, since her opinion is the one that counts most here, and she will eventually be old enough to voice it.

Question: The kid's name is "A-zling." That's what you call her. You don't get to pronounce it however you want. I think Jennifer should be pronounced Jen-ih-fer, but if Jennifer's parents pronounce it Jeh-knifer, who am I to say any different?

Answer: That's your opinion, which you are welcome to convey to this father.

I am so naming my next dog Jeh-knifer. As spelled.

Question: My name is Annah. I added the "h" to the end but my mum doesn't add it when she writes to me - no hissy fit from me. My grandma pronounced it as "Aaaana" - no hissy fit from me. When I moved to the United States, co-workers pronounced it the American way using an American accent - no hissy fit from me.

Answer: I see three perfectly good hissy-fit opportunities squandered. Squandered! I can't even.

Question: I thought the idea of the Grandpa being the only one who calls her the traditional pronunciation was sweet and charming - like having a special, private nickname that's not something weird or embarrassing.

Answer: I thought about that, too, though it does depend on Grandpa. If he's one for power plays, it's a power play, and if he's one to find a way to make everyone he loves feel special, then it's sweet and charming.

Yet another argument for choosing not to be a power-tripping, egocentric toad: You get to call people whatever you want.