Tattle: 'Star Trek' re-launches in Australia

AUSTRALIA, the final frontier.

The "Star Trek" relaunch may not land in the U.S. until May, but it premiered Tuesday at the Sydney Opera House.

Among the stars on hand: Chris Pine, who takes on William Shatner's old role as James Kirk; Zachary Quinto, who inherits Leonard Nimoy's Mr. Spock; Karl Urban, filling the shoes of DeForest Kelley's Dr. McCoy; and Eric Bana, who plays a villainous Romulan.

Out of admiration for the original Kirk, Pine noted that when he was cast, he wrote Shatner a "letter of introduction and said who I was and what I was doing."

Quinto had a chance to form a personal relationship with Nimoy, who reprises his role as the older Spock.

"Leonard and I have become very close in this process, and his experience has been unique to him and mine will be unique to me," Quinto said.

John Cho, who plays Mr. Sulu, said he chose to take his character in a new direction. "I didn't think it would be wise to do a copy of George Takei's performance," Cho said. "It just didn't seem like the right thing to do, and [director J.J. Abrams] didn't ask me to do that, so I avoided it."

In reality news . . .

You know what we miss most about the end of "ER"? It may be one of the last times (with "24") that network television tried to give a TV series feature-film-production values. The long tracking shots, the special effects, the attention to detail, the actors . . .

Reality television is cheap. And sordid. And its bread and butter (or non-fat margarine on "The Biggest Loser") is humiliation. Every few months the bar drops lower. Fox is working on "Someone's Gotta Go," in which employees of a small business decide which of their colleagues will be laid off. That's right, laid off.

Each week, a different company cans an employee.

Can't wait for the two-hour special at General Motors in which an entire plant gets sent home.

What's next, "Sweet and Low," in which every week a diabetic loses his insulin?

Maybe "Repossessed," in which a person who desperately needs his car, has it taken away?

"Movin' Out," could kick an unemployed family from their home. And, of course, there will be the self-explanatory, "Amputee."

* A much more uplifting choice might be Fox Reality Channel's untitled Cindy Margolis Dating Show, in which the lovely, and single, Ms. Margolis will look for her perfect match.

Casting producers in L.A. are seeking single men 18 and older to participate in the series. Internet nerds welcome. For more information go to foxreality.com/cindy.

A trip to discuss Tripp

Can someone explain to us why Levi Johnston is on tour?

He doesn't have a book or movie to promote. He doesn't have any particular expertise. He hasn't made amateur porn.

(That we know of.)

But after sitting with his mom and sister for a painful talk with Tyra Banks, Levi appeared on "The Early Show," yesterday, proving only that the "Early Show" really does catch the worm.

Levi said he's doing the talk-show circuit because he felt a need to get his "side of the story out there."

Uh, why?

Here's your side of the story. You're a teenager who knocked up your girlfriend. Shockingly, once the baby was born, you both realized you weren't soulmates.

Because Bristol is the mom and her parents, at least her mother, has a steady job and doesn't do meth, the baby stays with her.

By yapping to anyone who'll listen, Levi, and taking your sideshow nationwide, you're making Tattle feel sorry for Bristol Palin. Not to mention baby Tripp.

Levi's story? He says a worsening feud has developed with Bristol's family - it must be long-distance as Levi's not even in Alaska - following his complaints about not being able to see Tripp more often.

There is a further dispute about whether Levi had actually lived with the Palins.

Levi said on "The Early Show" he "wouldn't call any baby a mistake. I love him more than anything. I wouldn't trade him for the world."

Lindsay 'hell' update

Yesterday, Tattle gave Lindsay Lohan a stern lecture about how to get her life in order and by the afternoon, Us Weekly reported Lindsay was in "absolute hell."

Sorry, it's called tough love.

Lindsay spoke with Us Weekly Monday over several lengthy phone calls and e-mails in which she was agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events.

She said Samantha Ronson broke it off with her last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep her out of a party for her sister Charlotte at the Chateau Marmont.

"The worst night of my life," Linds said, made worse because she was staying one floor above the Ronson party with her mom, Dina, and sister, Ali.

Lindsay said Sam also changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home they shared, and Sam's mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order against Lindsay.

"I'm not a bad person and this is what happens," Lohan said through tears. "I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama," she told Us Weekly, thus stoking the drama.

Lindsay told the mag she's "so alone" without Sam.

And proving once again that Hollywood is high school with prettier people, Lindsay said, "Everyone's turned on me." At the ritzy Chateau, Nicole Richie walked by her and said "Uck!" and Drea De Matteo said, "Come at me, Bitch!"

Oh, she's tired of the drama, all right. "I'm a f------ 22-year-old girl who's in love," she said. "I felt like I was in 'Mean Girls,' but worse: 'Mean Girls' was a movie."

This is a soap opera. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com.