10 ways we beat Tampa

Yeah, yeah . . . we know: When it comes to championship throwdowns, Tampa Bay teams have a habit of treating our guys like an ACORN voter-registration volunteer at a Sarah Palin rally.

The wounds are still raw: In the 2002 NFC Championship Game, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers grounded the Eagles' flight to Super Bowl XXXVII. And in 2004 the Tampa Bay Lightning kept the Flyers from a shot at bringing back Lord Stanley's cup for the first time since Gerald Ford was tripping his way around the West Wing.

Still, is there anyone north of Epcot who would argue that Philadelphia and its environs aren't superior to that traffic-clogged, amorphous mass of palm-lined subdivisions and strip malls known as the "Tampa Bay Area"?

C'mon, there isn't even a municipality called "Tampa Bay." And by any measure (save, obviously, for professional-sports championships) Billy Penn's "greene countrie towne" has it all over Florida's southwest coast.

If you don't think so, just consider these . . .

TOP 10 REASONS PHILADELPHIA IS BETTER THAN TAMPA BAY

10. In Philly, we take the subway to Phillies games. In Tampa Bay, they go to Subway for Philly cheesesteaks.

9. We have Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins and Cole Hamels. The Tampa Bay Rays have Evan Longoria (who?), Gabe Gross (who?), B.J. Upton (who?) and Scott Kazmir (who?).

8. The Phillies play their practice games there. The Rays play their real games there.

7. Try finding Skee-Ball or a Mack & Manco's on Clearwater Beach.

6. Philadelphia had the nation's first public library, hospital and fire department. Clearwater had the nation's first Hooter's.

5. Our baseball team's official nickname is 125 years old. Their baseball team's official nickname is 11 months old.

4. They have dog races at Derby Lane. We have drag races on Holstein Avenue.

3. Wilt Chamberlain, NBA legend, was born in Philadelphia; Randy Savage, WWF legend, was born in Tampa.

2. We have the Roberts family, whose Comcast empire helped usher in the Age of Cable TV. They have the Steinbrenner family, whose Yankees empire helped usher in the Age of Let's Ruin Baseball by Spending Like a Drunken AIG Sales Meeting Planner.

1. And the best reason of all? Five words: Larry Mendte and Alycia Lane. Can Tampa Bay top that scandal? *