Tattle | A nod to the 'World's Most Reliable Newspaper'

LEAVING A hole in the hearts of fiction writers everywhere, there are only a few issues of

Weekly World News

left before it bites the dust.

This being the Weekly World News, the dust comprises a radioactive space particle left by aliens when they came for Elvis.

Or romanced Hillary Clinton.

Aliens are busy - and horny.

American Media, which owns WWN along with the National Enquirer and the Star, has announced the black & white tabloid will cease publication Aug. 27 and go Internet only (weeklyworld

news.com), thus ending 28 years of print silliness.

At least there's still the Onion.

The good news is that fans of "The World's Most Reliable Newspaper," the paper that gave us "Oprah to Replace Lincoln on $5 Bill," now have extra cash to purchase the world's second-most-reliable paper - this one.

The bad news is that we will no longer be able to kill time at the checkout counter immersed in WWN's unique brand of biblical study: "Why Moses Wandered in the Desert for Forty Years: He Lost the Map!?"

In this important, exclusive, investigative piece in the current WWN, Paul Kupperberg reports on an archaeological dig by the Red Sea that has found the directions God gave to Moses so he could take the short cut.

(We can only assume Moses' Sinai wifi connection was down and he couldn't get to Mapquest.)

"A parchment map was found in a sealed urn not far from the remains of an Egyptian chariot," said Rabbi Zalman Schmotkin-Fisher of the, ahem, Moses Studies Institute. "We surmise that Moses dropped it in the rush to get across the Red Sea before the parted waters rejoined.

"It was etched by I Am's own flaming finger, plainly mapping the way to the Promised Land. Remarkably, had they followed the Lord's route, the trek would have taken the Israelites about a month, tops.

"This explains so much," Schmotkin-Fisher said, "especially why God didn't let Moses enter the Promised Land.

"You know how angry your wife gets when you won't pull over and ask for directions?" the rabbi asked. "Imagine how irate the Almighty gets when you pull the same thing on Him!"

Tattle stork report

* Jenna and Bodhi Elfman are first-time parents.

Jenna gave birth to Story Elias Elfman (a boy) a week ago Monday, her publicist, Jenni Weinman, said yesterday.

Story weighed in at 7 pounds, 2 ounces.

"Story wants to give big props to his mom for all the hard work," Weinman said in a statement, which also said the infant was a fan of "classical music, a clean diaper . . . and long naps."

* Also welcoming their first child were Trista and Ryan Sutter of "The Bachelorette."

Trista gave birth to Maxwell Alston Sutter on Thursday, according to usmagazine.com.

Maxwell tipped the scales at 5 pounds, 3 ounces, so at least for a

little while, Story could kick his

diaper-clad behind.

Tattbits

* TMZ.com reports that Britney

Spears' divorce became official yesterday. She's single again.

* Nicolas Cage ("Ghost Rider") and

his 16-year-old son, Weston, unveiled the comic book they created, "Voodoo Child," at the San Diego Comic-Con on Sunday.

Weston created the main character, Gabriel, a biracial teenage ghost who fights the evil of bigotry in post-Katrina New Orleans.

"I have very high hopes to push 'Voodoo Child' into script and production . . . and perhaps play a role in the movie," Nic said. "We have those ideas in motion."

The six-book "Voodoo Child" series is published by Virgin Comics. The first issue was released this month.

"This is a highlight in my life," Nic said, "that I got to create something with my son."

* Berlin has named a street honor-

ing Frank Zappa.

Frank-Zappa-Strasse or Frank Zappa Street - formerly Street 13 - lies on the eastern outskirts of Berlin amid empty industrial buildings in what was communist East Germany.

The street is home to Orwo Haus, a former Communist-era film factory that now provides practice studios for more than 160 bands.

Musicians at Orwo Haus campaigned for two years to have the street's name changed. Eighteen bands, including the Frank Zappa cover band Sheik Yerbouti, celebrated the renaming this weekend with an all-night concert for more than 2,800 people.

"I am absolutely certain that he would be very proud to have his name as an address for so many musicians," Frank's brother Bobby wrote in a "Thank You" letter.

* Not getting a whole street was Ar-

nold Schwarzenegger, whose 60th birthday was feted yesterday in the Austrian village of Thal Bei Graz with brass band, strudels, schnitzels and a gift from Mayor Peter Urdl.

Urdl said he sent Gov. Arnold Thal 145, the enameled number of the house where he was born July 30, 1947. "This belongs to him. No one here will ever be assigned that number again," he said.

* Try to contain your excitement.

Billboard.com reports the next Backstreet Boys album will hit stores Oct. 30.

The group's new single, "Inconsolable," describing how we've all felt without the Backstreet Boys, will hit radio Aug. 27.

* Ball State University plans to

name its new communication building after 1970 graduate David Letterman.

Instead of the SATs, Ball State applicants will now have to correctly answer, "Will It Float?"

* Although the Grey Goose line may

be more appropriate for Lindsay Lohan, in August you may start seeing ads with her modeling the Jill Stuart line.

When the ads were shot in Japan, Stuart said, according to the London Sun, "Lindsay's perfect for us. She's sexy and smart."

"Smart" must be the new "Dumb." *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com