'Seventh Son:' Bridges to Nowhere

THIS IS Oops Week for certain Oscar nominees.

Best Actor contender Eddie Redmayne hams it up in "Jupiter Ascending" (see Next Page), and Julianne Moore is a screechy homicidal witch in the sword-and-sorcery debacle "Seventh Son."

Moore is up for Best Actress as an Alzheimer's patient in "Still Alice," and you wonder if she prepared for the role by forgetting she was in "Seventh Son," in which, to be fair, everyone is bad.

Including Jeff Bridges.

Just recently, I watched a PBS "American Masters" about Bridges and was informed that the reclusive actor is extremely selective in the roles he takes.

That in no way explains Bridges' presence in "R.I.P.D." and now "Seventh Son," opposite Moore, with both of them in roles that appear to have been written for Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless.

Bridges is Master Gregory, a medieval-ish philosopher/magician/knight who travels around killing witches and demons. His main adversary is Mother Malkin (Moore), part woman and part dragon, who wants to recover a magic jewel and preside over a reign of terror upon the land - blah, blah, faux-"Lord of the Rings," blah.

Bridges' shamanistic role conforms to his new place in culture as The Dude-ly Lama: flowing robes, gray mane, windy new-age bromides.

All of this was on view in those mysterious Super Bowl ads, in which he offers to provide you with "intriguing sounds" that will put you to sleep.

That might work.

If you want guaranteed sleep, see "The Seventh Son."

Online: ph.ly/Movies