Tattle: How to tell bailout pigs? It's a matter of Trust

TMZ.COM and Tattle usually spend our space on the seamier side of celebrity shenanigans, but who are bigger celebrities today than greedy bankers and overwhelmed politicians, and what's a hotter topic than the financial meltdown/bailout?

And so . . .

TMZ.com reports that the Chicago-based bank Northern Trust (having the word Trust in a bank's name these days is what's called comedy) sponsored a PGA tournament this past weekend at L.A.'s Riviera Country Club.

Financial institutions do that kind of spending all the time, just in case you haven't heard of Lincoln Financial Field, Citizens Bank Park and the Wachovia Center.

But Northern Trust did it up big: The bank flew hundreds of clients and employees to L.A. and put them up at hotels that would not be confused with Motel 6. TMZ says that more than a hundred of Northern's guests vacationed at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, and another hundred stayed at the Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel. The Ritz Carlton, in Marina Del Rey, got business, too, as did Casa Del Mar.

Last Wednesday, the bank hosted a dinner at the Ritz followed by a performance by Chicago. At the concert, all the women got gifts from Tiffany's. (And your bank only gave you a toaster.)

On Thursday, the bank's guests dined in a private hangar at the Santa Monica Airport and grooved to a performance by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Saturday the bank took over West Hollywood's entire House of Blues, swayed to a performance by Sheryl Crow and chowed down on Angus filet.

(Sheryl never passes up a chance to get green.)

Want to actually see some golf, for which Northern Trust shelled out at least seven digits (and that was without Tiger Woods?) The bank shuttled guests to the course via a fleet of luxury Mercedes vehicles.

Don't like golf? Northern Trust offered a seminar on the credit crunch.

They forgot to schedule the seminar on irony.

Unfortunately, 450 Northern Trust employees were unable to participate in the fun. They were laid off in December.

Taxpayers, however, should feel like they were right there listening to Sheryl sing "All I wanna do is have some fun . . . "

Northern Trust recently received $1.6 billion of former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's bank-bailout money.

And Northern Trust didn't even ask for it.

The gracious government just gave it to them.

Congressman Barney Frank, chairman of the House Committee on Financial Services - so he knows all about throwing money down a sinkhole - told TMZ that he is sending a letter to Northern Trust, asking the bank to return the $1.6 billion in bailout money - a new law actually allows banks that don't need the money to give it back.

Now he's sorry

It was probably a dozen years ago that Rupert Murdoch laid-off Tattle (this was pre-Tattle) along with over 100 fellow workers at TV Guide Online.

The boss man himself spoke through a garbled sound system, which only thickened his Australian accent, to the point that none of us actually realized we'd lost our jobs until security guards began appearing with boxes.

Murdoch never apologized for gutting TVG Online or for losing billions with his purchase of TV Guide magazine, but Rupert has gotten a conscience in his old age.

In an unprecedented, perhaps historic, event, Murdoch, who's still chairman of the New York Post even though that property is barely a blip on his financial radar, apologized yesterday for a cartoon that critics said likened a violent chimpanzee shot dead by police to President Obama.

In a statement published in the paper, Murdoch said he wanted to "personally apologize to any reader who felt offended, and even insulted." He said that the Post will work to be more sensitive.

Here's some good news . . .

. . . at least for men.

Megan Fox is available.

The bad news is, you've got no shot.

Usmagazine.com reports that Fox and fiance Brian Austin Green have split.

"The relationship had run its course," an insider told Us. "They both realized the time had come to go their separate ways. It's completely amicable, and they are remaining friends."

Tattbits

* "Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark" will open Feb. 18, 2010, at Broadway's Hilton Theatre, producers announced yesterday.

Previews begin Jan. 16.

The musical, directed by Julie Taymor ("The Lion King" show), will feature a score by Bono and The Edge, both of U2.

* The Hollywood Reporter reports that Naomi Watts has been cast in Woody Allen's latest untitled project opposite Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins.

Following the $51 million global gross (and Penelope Cruz Oscar) for "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," Allen is bankable again.

His next comedy, "Whatever Works," will be released by Sony Pictures Classics on June 23.

* Weird but talented Evan Rachel Wood, who plays Mickey Rourke's estranged daughter in "The Wrestler," will join her brother and father at Theatre In The Park, in Raleigh, N.C., this May for a special engagement of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." Wood, who is from Raleigh, will star as Juliet.

Her brother is directing, not playing Romeo.

She's not that weird. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com