Sideshow: Parton takes Miley's part

. . . imperfect together. Dolly Parton, 68, who just by chance has a new CD out, tells People mag she feels for Miley Cyrus because back in the day, "Lots of people thought . . . that I was just trashy." Then she adds, hilariously, "which I was."

The Spike Guys Choice Awards is about one thing, as we all know. Two. Three at the most. Anyway, Saturday in Culver City, Calif., Sandra Bullock, yay!, won the Decade of Hotness award, and she said: "My question was, what decade?" The Our New Girlfriend award went to Emily Ratajkowski ("Blurred Lines"). The Holy Grail of Hot went to models Chrissy Teigen, Nina Agdal, and Lily Aldridge. Rihanna was declared Most Desirable Woman.

Wonderful Audra McDonald won a sixth Tony award - more than anybody ever, OK? - Sunday night for her work in Lady Day at Emerson's Bar & Grill. She also won in 1994 (Carousel), 1996 (Master Class), 1998 (Ragtime), 2004 (A Raisin in the Sun), and 2012 (The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess). She also has two Grammys. Where's that dang Nobel?

An L.A. court has told Halle Berry to pay former partner Gabriel Aubry $16,000 a month child support for their child, Nahla. Aubry also got $115,000 in back support.

Emily Maynard (The Bachelor; The Bachelorette) married Tyler Johnson in a surprise! I-do-ing at a gala Saturday at his family farm in Sharon, S.C. Her daughter Ricki, 8, was maid of honor. This was her fourth betrothal, with two guys from The Bachelor/ette, and also with late NASCAR driver Ricky Hendrick, Ricki's father.

Justin Bieber reportedly was baptized in a bathtub last week in Manhattan. We write this without comprehension. It's said he has been in intensive religious study. (No mention of racial sensitivity training.) Next stop: canonization. . . . Nia Sanchez, Miss Nevada, 24, was crowned Miss USA on Sunday night, ICYMI. They better let her keep it: She has a fourth-degree black belt in taekwondo. . . . Rapper Slowbucks says that in East Rutherford, N.J., on June 1, while 50 Cent was onstage at the Hot 97 Summer Jam, a 50 Cent posse jumped him and stole a gold chain. 50 - who, just by happenstance and koinkydink, has a new album out - says Slowbucks is lying. . . . Seen that "Hangover" video, with Korean dance king Psy and smoke king Snoop Dogg? No? It's weird. . . . Britain's Prince William on Monday anointed soccer emeritus David Beckham as world ambassador for the prince's United for Wildlife initiative against animal poaching. . . . At 6:30 Sunday morning, a man broke into Sandra Bullock's home, and she was there. Police arrested a suspect, and Bullock was unhurt. . . . Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, and daughter Willow made a loving, beautiful family unit on the beaches of Hawaii on Monday.       . . . We wonder, too: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, supposed to be divorcing, or consciously separating, or whatever, were very palsy-walsy over dinner in Malibu. What the heck gives?