Sideshow: Simon Cowell to wed baby mama?

Simon Cowell, 54, came off as a real cad when news broke that he had an affair with best friend Andrew Silverman's wife, Lauren, even getting her pregnant. He may turn things around by making an honest woman of her. Us Weekly says he has already bought the rock and is set to propose.

Talk about a strange love triangle: TMZ says Lauren and Andrew's divorce agreement contains a clause saying she must keep Cowell away from Adam, her 7-year-old son with Andrew, or pay a $50,000 fine.

Too weird to be true?

Would Cowell be a good influence on his child with Lauren? This week, Britain's education secretary, Michael Gove, blasted the X Factor creator for telling kids not to bother getting an education.

"The secret is to be useless at school and then get lucky," Cowell, a dropout, told New York radio station Z100. A Cowell rep shot back that "this was quite clearly a joke."

Michael Kaufman concedes that his brother, comic Andy Kaufman, really is dead. He tells CNN a cabal of evildoers tricked him into thinking Andy was still alive. . . . Don Cheadle will direct and star as bebop cool cat Miles Davis in the biopic Kill the Trumpet Player  .    . . . FXX will begin showing reruns of The Simpsons in August.          . . . Rihanna and Drake spent $17,000 at a Houston strip club, says E! News. That's like 700 lap dances! . . . Alec Baldwin has had three nasty run-ins with paparazzi over the last couple of days. Anderson Cooper chided the actor when he got in one photog's face and uttered a homophobic slur.

Twerking, the sex-dweeb dance move made famous by Miley Cyrus, "was actually stolen from the Navy SEALs," GQ's Funnyman of the Year, Will Ferrell, tells the mag. "It is the maneuver they used to stun Bin Laden's guards."