Sideshow: Weird turn in Sheen custody

OK, wait, whaaat? Charlie Sheen and ex Brooke Mueller are tusslin' over custody of twins Bob and Max, 4 and 4. Each says the other's a dangerous, violent druggie. Well, Friday, the judge hit on an odd fix for now. Scott Mueller, Brooke's brother, gets temp guardianship, and he'll move in with her. Now, he's asking Chas for $55,000 a month to help him guard them. Chas can't be happy about that.

Yikes!! . . . the Red Hot Chili Peppers are touring Brazil, and drummer Chad Smith oughta be more careful!!! At a drum clinic in Belo Horizonte, Chad performed an indelicate act of public self-cleansing with a jersey from . . . Flamengo! Brazil's best-loved soccer club!!! They only got, like, more than 39 million fans. (No joke!) The news has spread throughout Brazil, Chad's getting death threats, so he's apologized on Twitter.

Any time wild-eyed rocker/animal shooter Ted Nugent begins a sentence, we brace for the rest. On a Detroit radio station on Oct. 30, Ted said he knows many important people. "I work close with [Sen.] Ted Cruz [R., Texas], who is a great patriot, a great statesman. I worked close with [Gov.] Scott Walker's team in Wisconsin when he took it away from the hippies. . . . I've worked with different sheriffs and different attorney generals. I work closely with [attorney general] Greg Abbott and Gov. [Rick] Perry in Texas." How does he find time to sit up in those trees and blow away deer and antelope? He's everyplace!