Sideshow: Bird booster from way back

We at "SideShow" love, love,

wuvvvv

the Internets! They supply us with lovely fun for moments at a time. Guess who's the new viral hero of the Web! If you answered

Mr. Rogers

, you . . . read ahead!

Fred McFeely Rogers

, whose show

Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood

went from 1968 to 2001 and whose life went from 1928 to 2003, is now a viral bomb, yo. Back in May 1969, he appeared before the U.S. Senate to defend PBS;

President

Richard M. Nixon

wanted to cut its $20 million grant in half. Wow: 1969 was the first year of

Sesame Street

. Somebody found the tape, and now it's everyplace. Recall that

Mitt Romney

, in mid-scathe of

President Obama

in the first prez debate, said he'd stop funding PBS. He said he liked

Big Bird

, but not enough to keep subsidizing the Birdster. BB became a big-time Twitter trend! Even appeared on

Saturday Night Live

's Weekend Update Saturday, in which Bird reported getting "a million tweets!" Just goes to show: Big Bird has always been a controversial figure on Capitol Hill.

The November Esquire is out, and it, correctly, names big-eyed

Mila Kunis

as the World's Sexiest Woman. Girl's on a roll, and we don't mean bagel. She's now dating serial photographer

Ashton Kutcher

, she's on covers everywhere, and there's also a brushfire rumor she'll be picked to star in

Fifty Shades of Grey

. The last three Esquire most sexiest lady-types before her, also correctly:

Rihanna

,

Minka Kelly

, and

Kate Beckinsale

. Shiver in the deliciousness!!

Interesting. CNN has started a new documentary filmmaking unit, for show on both TV and in theaters. The first film,

Girl Rising

, will have voiceovers by

Meryl Streep

,

Anne Hathaway

,

Kerry Washington

, and

Selena Gomez

.

Richard Robbins

, who made the wartime doc

Operation Homecoming

, directs. It premieres next spring.

This very cool website, Small Demons, tracks everything mentioned in books. They've only just-just-just started, only "several thousand" books so far out of the millions. Still. What, you ask, is the most oft-mentioned tune? "Hey Jude," by some outfit called the

Beatles

. The following nine, announced over the weekend: (2) "Heartbreak Hotel," by

Elvis Presley

; (3) "Stairway to Heaven," by

Led Zeppelin

; (4) "We Are the World," by

USA for Africa

; (5) "Dancing Queen," by

Abba

; (6) "Blue Suede Shoes," by

Carl Perkins

; (7) "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," by the

Beatles

; (8) "Eleanor Rigby," by, um, wait, we had it here a minute ago . . . (9) "Smells Like Teen Spirit," by

Nirvana

; (10) "Bohemian Rhapsody," by

Queen

; and we had to mention (11) "The Macarena," by

Los Del Rio

. Wow. It's a dang WMGK playlist! Heavily skewed to over-45 white Western males. Most mentioned musician: Elvis!!! He's followed by such as

Mozart

,

Beethoven

,

Bach

,

Frank Sinatra

,

Bob Dylan

,

Madonna

,

Michael Jackson

, and

John Lennon

.

Speaking of Beatles stuff, last week was the 50th anniversary of the release of their first single, the execrable "Love Me Do." So EMI put out this commemorative 7-inch vinyl single. Hahahaha, they messed up, though. See, the youthful Fabs made two versions in 1962, the first with session drummer Andy White (because producer George Martin thought Ringo Starr stank) and a second one with our Ringo. The new single was supposed to be Ringo's version, but, hahahaha, the Andy version went out. It's easy to see, or hear, why: Frankly, they're all but identical. EMI has recalled it, and probably it'll release nothing.

It's none of our business. Adults making decisions for themselves. Lord knows, we have no standing. Play no role. Still, we say:

Don't do it,

Hulk Hogan

!

For the love of Mike, please do

not

accept this "open checkbook" offer from Sex.com to buy the rights to that porn tape of yours. Please, Hulk, no. Yes, we know, the diddly-vid was leaked on Gawker, and now, well, ugh, there's a

market

. We hear your costar is

Heather Clem

, wife of your best buddy,

DJ Bubba the Love Sponge

. And, no matter what the arrangement, that is just icky!! Please, Hulk, just say no.

Maria Shriver

was seen leaving a Brentwood, Calif., greasy spoon - and she had her wedding ring on!!! Does this mean she's having

Arnold Schwarzenegger

back? No. But it's fun to ask. . . .

Madonna

survivor and incredibly fertile person

Guy Ritchie

is engaged to his gf

Jacqui Ainsley

. They have a son together and are expecting their second child, and he had two with Madge. . . . After an intense bidding war,

Lena Dunham

, creator/star of HBO's

Girls

, has inked a deal with Random House for an essay collection. She's getting paid . . .

whatwhatwhat?

. . . $3.5 million!! . . . Former Philadelphia Eagles fan-blogger

Kendra Wilkinson

's 2-year-old son,

Hank Baskett IV

, lost consciousness at the Wilkinson/Baskett manse in L.A. Cops came, HB4 went to the hospital, just kid overheating, he's fine. . . .

Jack Osbourne

married

Lisa Stelly

on Sunday on the Big Island out in Hawaii.

. . .

Katy Perry

and

John Mayer

hooked up in June, took a break in August, reassembled in September, and now have jettisoned each other, according to RadarOnline. . . . It's cool that

Jay-Z

, gigging all week at the resplendent new Barclays Center in his native Brooklyn, took the R subway to his final show Saturday night. We are forced to note that, as she did

not

do at Philly's Made in America fest,

Beyoncé

showed up to shake it onstage with J in Brooklyn. . . . If you haven't seen the tape of

Richard Belzer

's recent interview on the N.Y.C. local Fox channel, in which he gave the Nazi salute and otherwise insulted his hosts at Fox, well, it's a breathtaker. . . . "SideShow" favorite

Amber Tamblyn

, 29, has for some reason married crazy lunatic mess-head

David Cross

, 48. They had quite the wedding, with indie-rock trio

Yo La Tengo

providing the dance moozik, and

Ahmir ?uestlove Thompson

of the

Roots

as DJ. . . . Weather guy

Sam Champion

of ABC's

Good Morning America

has announced his engagement to photographer and fellow male

Rubem Robierb

. . . .

Danny DeVito

and

Rhea Perlman

, married since 1982, have announced they are separating. Sad. . . . In what's becoming a true entertainment trend,

Lady Gaga

, laboring under the flu, shouted Ralph/made the rainbow smile/barfed three times in rapid succession onstage in Barcelona Saturday. She joins

Justin Bieber

, who, as so often, set the trend last week. . . . Not to be outdisastered,

Madonna

bonked and bloodied her head with a wayward guitar during her show in San Francisco.