Sideshow: Royals win ruling over nude photos

The court was shocked,

shocked,

to find topless photos of a beautiful celeb in a French magazine. Actually, "brutal" was how the tribunal in Nanterre, France, described the pics of

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

, née

Kate Middleton

, that appeared Friday in the magazine Closer. The court, responding to a complaint by Kate and hub

Prince William

, ordered the mag on Tuesday to turn over all digital copies of the pics within 24 hours and cease further publication of them. The publishers will be fined $13,100 for every day they delay. The unauthorized photos were taken as Wills and Kate vacationed at a villa in Provence.

The court also enjoined Closer from republishing or reselling the pictures. The royals' lawyer Maud Sobel, calling court's action "a wonderful decision," said for the couple, "We've been vindicated."

Still, the decision affects only the 14 shots in Friday's edition. It would not necessarily cover other pics in the magazine's possession. And it doesn't change the fact that the photos have already been published in France, Italy, Ireland, and on the Internet, where they have doubtless been seen by countless eyes.

The royals also intend to file a criminal complaint against the unnamed photog, according to a statement from St. James's Palace.

The duel of the divas has been derailed before it could develop, reports celeb website TMZ.com.

American Idol

judge

Mariah Carey

, in an admirable display of judicial temperament, counseled newly appointed judge

Nicki Minaj

about the folly of continuing the mutual rudeness they displayed Sunday. TMZ cites

Anon Sources

as saying Nicki annoyed Mariah (and others) by showing up for work 45 minutes late. According to TMZ, Nicki and Mariah decided a feud wouldn't be good for

Idol

. TMZ begged to disagree.

Scottish R&B singer

Emeli Sandé

, 25, has tied the knot with bf

Adam Gouragine

, according to her U.S. rep, who provided no details. Her debut album, on which she collaborated with

Alicia Keys

,

Our Version of Events

, debuted in July. Sandé, who was raised in Scotland and dropped out of med school in favor of music, also has written songs for

Susan Boyle

,

Cheryl Cole

and

Tinie Tempah

. . . . Scottish singer-songwriter

Annie Lennox

has taken a third stab at marriage. She wed

Mitch Besser

, an American doctor, in a private ceremony Saturday in London, according to her rep. Lennox is best known as the singer for the multiple Grammy-winning duo the Eurythmics. Besser is founder of mothers2mothers, a nonprofit organization dedicated to eliminating mother-to-child transmission of HIV.

After so many years with

Charlie Sheen

,

Jon Cryer

may know a little about train wrecks, but bicycle crashes are something else. Cryer, costar of

Two and a Half Men

, kissed the pavement when he lost control of his bike during the cycling portion of a triathlon in Los Angeles on Sunday. Nothing was broken, but he left some skin on the roadway. One final indignity: on Tuesday morning, he discovered a hangnail on his injured hand. "When I saw it, I said, 'Really?!' "

Two and a Half Men

stars Cryer along with Ashton Kutcher. It begins its 10th season on Sept. 27.