Sideshow: Lacoste aghast at killer's polo shirt

French fashion house Lacoste, whose alligator logo-stamped short-sleeve piqué polo shirt has for decades defined preppyhood, yuppiehood - if not

the

'hood - is enraged at Norwegian terrorist

Anders Behring Breivik

for wearing its signature shirt whenever he is in public.

London's The Telegraph says Breivik, 32, who killed 77 people July 22 in Utøya and Oslo, demands that he wear no other shirt.

He writes in his manifesto that "refined people like [Breivik] should wear brands like Lacoste." An Oslo police rep tells Norwegian newspaper Dagbladet that Lacoste bigwigs demand the terrorist be banned from wearing any of its duds, arguing that it "could do considerable harm to their reputation." Lacoste has refused to comment.

Cost isn't what makes a dress, an ornament, or a piece of furniture beautiful, says stylin' multimedia machine

Jennifer Lopez

. This week she introduced her line of bargain fashions made for Kohl's stores. Heck, J-Lo tells USA Today she was stylin' back when she was an aspiring Bronx dancer and "couldn't afford everything." She's rich today, but she still mixes the cheap with the exorbitant in everything she does. "With my home, you have this beautiful piece that might have been expensive and you have one not so much, and it goes well together," says J-Lo. "So long as you rock it the right way and you know how to put it together."

Reese Witherspoon

's rep on Thursday said the actress was "resting comfortably at home" a day after she was struck by a car while on a jog in Santa Monica, Calif. Reese was barely grazed, People.com says. The driver, an 84-year-old woman, has been cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.

The Screen Actors Guild will bestow a lifetime achievement award on

Mary Tyler Moore

at the 18th annual SAG awards gala on Jan. 29. The award will honor not only MTM's TV, film, and Broadway oeuvre but also her work "as a tireless advocate giving hope to all those afflicted with Type 1 diabetes," SAG says.

Moore, 74, garnered a big TV following when at 23 she was cast as Dick's wife on The Dick Van Dyke Show. She catapulted to stardom playing a proto-Ally McBealian single professional gal on The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-77). The SAG awards will air live on TNT and TBS.

Prince William

's hon,

Kate Middleton

, 29, is not pregnant, much less with twins, as was claimed in tabloid reports this week, Royal Reps tell Us Weekly. . . .

Gwyneth Paltrow

has been cast to play a woman in love with a sex addict (

Mark Ruffalo

) in the 12-step drama

Thanks for Sharing

, costarring

Tim Robbins

. . . . "I LOVE MY BOOBIES!! They aren't going anywhere!" tweets

Jessica Simpson

in response to a report in London's The Sun that, "fed up with her DD breasts," she wants reduction surgery. . . .

Lady Gaga

will perform in Times Square on the 40th anniversary of

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2012

.

It's a sad day for

John Mayberry Jr.

The Phillies player has been turned down by a

Mermaid

he was hot to date, says the New York Post. Seems John asked his agent to ask the agent of actress

Antoinette Nikprelaj

, who plays a

Johnny Depp

-hatin' mermaid on

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

, if she would attend a ball game with him. J-May's agent noted in his note to the actor's agent that John is a "down-to-earth, humble" Stanford graduate. Alas, the Albanian-born beauty is married. She and hub

Nua

have a 3-year-old daughter,

Gianna

.

Scarlett Johansson

, 26, has recorded a duet with the late, great singer-actor

Dean Martin

, who died in '95 at 78. It'll be done by electronic black magic. The virtual duet, on "I'll Be Home for Christmas," will be included in the Dino album

My Kind of Christmas

, out Sept. 20.

Simon "Darth Vader" Cowell

's

American Idol

nemesis

Paula Abdul

, 49, is looking forward to her reunion with the British Snidely Whiplash as a judge on his new show

The X Factor

. Will there be fireworks? "It's like a marriage, without the sex," Paula tells People, "by choice." Si says he appreciates that Paula stands up to him. "I do really like people who disagree with me," he tells Redbook. "Probably my best friends in the world are the people I argue with the most."

Metrosexual country star

Keith Urban

has introduced a perfume for men called Phoenix.

Nicole Kidman's hub says he tested it on tour.

"I'll meet 80 to 100 people a night. The first few nights I started wearing my cologne and people were leaning in, saying: 'Is that your cologne? Let me have one more sniff,' " the Aussie warbler says. "They would lean in very close." How close, dude? This close, baby?

Kate Winslet

tells V Magazine that filming sex scenes isn't that much fun. "It's a profoundly bizarre thing to do. . . . You can literally be tangled in sheets, and you turn to the other actor and say, 'What the [beep] are we doing?' " she says. "Dear Mum, at work today I had so-and-so's [anatomy] pressed against my cheek. It's sort of unethical if you think about it in those terms."