Dave on Demand: Reality stardom beckons

Over the last few years, I've interviewed more than my fair share of reality-show cast members. When asked about their ambitions, they almost inevitably say, "Someday I'd like to have my own reality show."

It's not surprising they want to repeat the experience. Having your every utterance recorded for posterity, finding yourself recognized in public - that's got to be a potent ego boost.

And let's face it: About the only thing participating in a reality show qualifies you for is another reality show. No one's asking the castoffs from Big Brother to moderate Meet the Press.

The crazy thing is that "getting my own reality show" has become a valid career goal.

Kendra Wilkinson was just one of Hef's harem on The Girls Next Door. Now she's the cynosure of her own show, Kendra. She's taken her annoying laugh all the way to the bank.

Audrina Partridge wasn't exactly a burning bundle of charisma on The Hills. But her blank canvas of a face photographed well. And that was reason enough for MTV to pack her off to New York to star in The City.

Bethenny Frankel was part of the carping chorus on Real Housewives of New York. Now she's a one-woman franchise.

It's impossible to keep up with Kim Kardashian. She's rocketed into some dimension of fame far beyond reality star. You cannot go two minutes anymore without seeing her name or image.

I mean it. Kim has developed the technology to subliminally break into your dreams. She stole it from the movie Inception.

Even if you're not awarded your own show, doesn't mean you have to quit working in the reality vineyards.

Unscripted dramas are generating more spin-offs than Happy Days and All in the Family combined.

The Real World gave birth to Road Rules and The Challenge. 16 and Pregnant begat Teen Moms and Teen Moms 2. The Bachelor led to The Batchelorette and Bachelor Pad. The same people cycle through all the sequels.

So don't fret if your son or daughter drops out of high school to become a reality TV lifer. It's one of the few growth industries left.

Everything's Jake. Reality TV gave us the week's most disquieting moment - when Jake Pavelka, against all logic, awarded the immunity rose to Vienna Girardi on Bachelor Pad.

He did it purely so he could gin up contrition for the hideous way he treated Vienna after their breakup last year. It was an empty gesture that didn't win Vienna's forgiveness or viewers' admiration.

Not since The Office's Michael Scott have we had a character so transparently self-serving and cringingly insincere.

Make it stop! The commercial that really bugs me is the Klondike Bar ad with the guy who looks like he is going to explode from having to listen to his wife for five seconds. Grimacing, cheeks billowing, flop-sweating.

If hearing your spouse talk about her day even very briefly is so utterly excruciating, you may be Jake Pavelka.

Guilty with an explanation. Remember the woman who broke into Alex Trebek's hotel suite in the middle of the night? She came up with a unique alibi this week, asserting that she isn't a thief but a hooker, in Trebek's room looking for a customer.

That's like admitting you hotwired a car, but only to boost the GPS system.

How's that? Describing a low-scoring game this week on ESPN, baseball analyst Bobby Valentine informed us that "runs have been far and few between."

Which sounds like it makes sense. Until you think about it.