Tell Me About It: Mom-to-be 'desperate' for a girl

Question:

I am six months pregnant with my first child and I

desperately

want a girl. I'm not sure why, exactly - I have great relationships with my father/brothers/nephews/husband - but the desire is so strong I'm a little concerned. I've insisted on not finding out the baby's gender. I'm claiming I want to be surprised, but really it's because I'll be devastated if it's a boy.

If it is a boy, how do I handle the disappointment and avoid being unfair to an innocent little baby? I'm hoping that once my real-live baby is in front of me, I won't care what it is. Does this happen?

Answer: You mean not caring what the sex is once you behold your newborn child? Sure. It's also normal for parents to have a preference.

But I don't think your desperation, or your suspense, is healthy for you or the baby. Instead of counting on oxytocin to wipe out your boy misgivings, please consider finding out the gender now, so you can prepare yourself before the baby comes.

And if you learn it's a boy, also consider saying out loud what you're feeling, to someone safe, since speaking it so often reduces a huge fear into a more manageable one.

You owe it to the little person to will your heart open to a boy. Yes, seeing your little baby will help naturally, but I still think addressing this now is the better course than a birthday surprise.

I can also throw in, anecdotally and not at all objectively, and therefore quite uselessly, that boys are a hoot. I even came around on the clothes. Boy stuff is much cuter.