AMONG THE handful of things Tattle has never done is put together a concert tour.
But we would imagine that a lot of work goes into it, with numerous contracts, sponsorship agreements and hiring M&M-removal interns.
So how does it happen that on Tuesday, Britney Spears is announcing on "Good Morning America" that the opening act on her next tour will be Enrique Iglesias and soon after Enrique is saying, "Nope, not me"?
Enrique is in Europe but his rep, Gary Mantoosh, said in a statement that his client and Spears won't tour "despite initial reports based on formal discussions of the possible run."
The statement says that Enrique "is very sorry for the confusion this might have caused to anyone."
How does the confusion happen? TMZ.com says it happens this way:
Lawyers and agents for Britney and Enrique were deep into negotiating an agreement that made it look as if Enrique was going to be a co-headliner on the tour. TMZ says both sides agreed to the deal and that's why Britney spoke out Tuesday.
While Team Britney, however, was prepping her for "GMA," Enrique was learning that, in reality, he was Britney's opening act and wanted out.
No matter the money, no matter the billing, Enrique has pride.
Anonymous witness news
For all you fake-named Internet readers who spout your hostile opinions while hiding behind a cloak of anonymity, take note:
A New Jersey judge has ruled prosecutors in a case stemming from a fatal car crash involving former "Melrose Place" actress Amy Locane-Bovenizer, can seek the identity of a person who claimed on the NJ.com website he was a witness and authorities were "lying about the facts."
The ruling allows prosecutors to order NJ.com to turn over the information of the reader who posted the comments.
The site is going to comply.
Prosecutors say Locane-Bovenizer was driving drunk at the time of a June 2010 crash that killed a Montgomery woman. She has pleaded not guilty.
Her lawyer says the nameless poster was her husband.
Culture war lost
In a terrible blow to Americans who import their culture from across the pond, hundreds of British arts organizations had their public funding slashed or eliminated yesterday, the result of government spending cuts aimed at tackling the country's deficit.
The government-funded Arts Council England must cut 15 percent from the amount it gives to groups by 2015 and instead of cutting 15 percent from everyone, it's cherry-picking. So some have been cut off entirely, while others have seen their funding increase.
Several major institutions, including the National Theatre, the Royal Opera and English National Ballet, will lose about 15 percent of their annual funding.
But some companies are seeing increases - from innovative stage company Punchdrunk to the British Federation of Brass Bands.
The British love their brass bands.
Big winners include London's Young Vic theater, the Whitechapel Gallery in east London and English Touring Opera, which all got hefty funding boosts.
* A wee bit closer to home, the Syracuse Symphony Orchestra will suspend operations on Sunday amid financial woes.
There are more than 20 concerts remaining in the season, including an April 27 concert by renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma.
The orchestra's 18 full- and part-time staffers and 61 core and 14 contract musicians will be laid off Monday.
Interim Executive Director Paul Brooks said no refunds would be issued to ticket holders.
Sorry, Syracusans, you're losing your orchestra and your money.
* The Hollywood Reporter says the sequel to Disney/Pixar's "Monsters Inc." will be called "Monsters University."
Future films in the series may be titled "Monsters Grad School," "Monsters Job Search" and "Monsters Living in Mom's Basement."
* The state of Gujarat in India banned Pulitzer-Prize winning author Joseph Lelyveld's new book about Mahatma Gandhi yesterday after reviews said the book hinted that the father of India's independence had a homosexual relationship.
More bans have been proposed in India, where homosexuality was illegal until 2009.
Meanwhile, in homophobic Malaysia, "Dalam Botol," the country's first gay-themed romance movie has quickly become a financial success despite earlier worries that it might repel Muslim-majority audiences.
The secret? Gay rights advocates say the film negatively portrays gays.
* Miley Cyrus has lashed out at 13-year-old Internet singing sensation Rebecca Black of "Friday" fame.
Miley told Australia's Daily Telegraph, "It should be harder to be an artist. You shouldn't just be able to put a song on YouTube and go out on tour."
Thank you for that advice, Disney-manufactured "Hannah Montana" star.
* The headline from Life & Style magazine read "Source: The Simpsons Comfort Pete Wentz Through Divorce."
Marge and Homer have sure gotten people through a lot of tough times.
BANGShowbiz.com and Daily News wire services contributed to this report.