Amy Sedaris offers a how-to book with a wacky twist

Cross Martha Stewart and Groucho Marx, add a dash of Lenny Bruce and a heaping dose of LSD, and you get America's most maniacal domestic diva - Amy Sedaris, author of the magisterial how-to book

Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People.

Sedaris' 304-page tome, which she cowrote with Paul Dinello, is a copiously illustrated, funny, tongue-in-cheek idea book for making some of the most out-of-this-world, creepy - albeit cute - handmade home knickknacks in recent memory.

But she wasn't always known as the busy homemaker's patron saint.

A comedian, film star, author, and sister of humorist David Sedaris (a terrific career achievement), she is best known as the creator and star of Comedy Central's surreal comedy of ill manners, Strangers With Candy.

In 2006, she rocked and shocked the best-seller list with I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, a 304-page (whoa!), post-Martha Stewart guide to throwing the baddest (you know, that's baaad as in cool) parties.

Her crafting book, which she will discuss Friday night at the Free Library, includes such simple-to-make, affordable items as the "unable to make ends meet belt" (rolled plastic wrap); "poor man's toffee" (heated and futher-condensed condensed milk); "tampon ghosts" (just add wings); the Dropout Crab Claw Roach Clip (a roach clip stuck to the non-pincer side of a claw saved from dinner); and an entire series of "Crafting for Jesus" crafts, including Moses' Comb Holder, Jesus Sandals, a matchbook cross, and a clothespin Jesus.

She even explains the best occasions to use her nifty peace pipe: "if one is looking to 'chill', to signify that one is 'chillin',' or as a way to cement, between two parties, an agreement to 'chill'."

Sedaris took some time from her hectic schedule to discuss the hows, wherefores, and whys (I mean, why?) of the book.

Question: Why do you love crafts so?

Answer: I've been doing [crafting] since I was little. I learned how to do it in the Girl Scouts and Junior Achievement. And as a family we'd always get together in the basement and make stuff. I like the idea of making things with my hands and having a hobby.

Q: Why a book about crafting?

A: My first book on entertaining [I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence] had a small part on crafts and I wanted to do more. I thought it would be entertaining. Everything from the costumes and the sets [in the photos] was handmade.

Q: Did you make everything yourself? How long did it take to write the book?

A: I put together a team and made a list of the things we wanted to make every day. Like a friend in Hawaii did all the coconut things. . . . Making everything and photographing it took six months. Then it took Paul [Dinello] and I another year to write.

Q: What are you trying to tell your fans? What's the book's message? Does it have a moral?

A: It's just a book of ideas. If you are kind of a visual artist and flip through the book, it will inspire you.

Q: How does crafting make you feel?

A: It quiets me. I just want to have something to do with my hands, so my mind could, like, wander. I like having a project to do, to keep me busy.

Q: What would you do if you didn't have crafts to make? Could you live in a craft-less world?

A: Then I would probably end up biting my fingernails. It comes and goes. Sometimes I pick at my fingers.

Q: Did you or your team sustain any injuries while crafting? Any mortalities?

A: No, I didn't get hurt. But there could be serious crafting injuries. Crafting could probably kill you too, I guess. There's glue vapors, paper cuts, you could cut your finger off, injure an eye.

Q: Are all crafters Birkenstock-wearing, granola-crunchy liberals?

A: I bet they're not. There are a lot of conservatives who like scrapbooking and go to the mega-store for supplies. I don't think crafting discriminates.

Q: So there could be communist or fascist crafters? And fascist crafts?

A: I don't know, what would a fascist craft look like?

Q: What's your favorite craft item?

A: Marshmallow stars. I think those are really pretty.

Q: Any advice for crafting newbies?

A: My advice is just find something you enjoy doing and keep doing. Maybe start simple and get yourself a pot-holder kit.