Jenice Armstrong: Black Marriage - A video with a message

A SLEW OF articles and TV news reports recently have delved into the plight of professional black women and the challenges they face in finding a suitable mate. But we haven't heard much about the professional black man and his experiences in the dating world.

Now, finally, the good black man has a voice - albeit a computerized one. It's in the form of an Internet video that has gone viral, sparking discussions about male-female relationships. Called "Black Marriage Negotiations," it spoofs high-achieving women who want it all from a potential mate - a six-figure income, a willingness to pay all the bills, acceptance of her inevitable weight gain and sporadic post-marriage sex. Oh, and Prince Charming must be tall, too. In the video, available on YouTube or Philosog.com, a corporate-looking cartoon female asks, "Where are all the good black men?" but doesn't acknowledge the one sitting across the table from her. Here's a snippet:

"I want a man who earns six figures," the animated female figure says in a robotic voice.

"That's me," the male figure replies.

"A man who has integrity, good character, good credit and loves his mom."

"Me, me and me. Hi, Mom."

"A man who will pay all the bills, yet recognize I'm an independent woman."

"What? How can you be independent when someone else pays all of your bills?"

"A man who can take charge, lead and direct his household, at least until I disagree with his direction. Then he must turn over his balls and give them to me because I'm a strong, professional womanist. If he doesn't do this, I will take him for 25 percent of his gross income in my divorce settlement and I will ruin his kids for life and forever turn them against him."

"OK."

"A man who will make me laugh, who's a thug, that can fit in with the boys in the boardroom, a man who can kick it in the neighborhood and on the golf course. . . . I want someone who is supportive and not threatened by the fact that I have a career and I'm a strong independent woman, a man who knows I don't need a man and will open doors and pay for every dinner and date we go on."

"Wow, that's confusing," he says. "Career-minded, strong independent woman who doesn't need a man but you expect to have your way through life paid for by your man . . . Well, you drive a hard bargain. But because I love you so much, I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

"No, you are too weak. I need a man with a backbone who won't let me run all over him. Besides, you are not 6-foot-5 and that's a deal breaker."

Since its creation just two weeks ago, "Black Marriage Negotiation" has garnered nearly half a million views on YouTube, spawned copycat videos and created a stir in the blogosphere. The creator, a married information-technology executive in Atlanta, has been invited to appear on ABC's "The View," and his video has been critiqued on Essence.com and other sites.

"I'm hoping it will encourage some honest dialogue," said Darroll Lawson, who created the video to draw traffic to his Internet radio show.

"Men are saying 'finally someone agrees with me or can communicate what I'm going through,' " he said. "I believe it's part of the zeitgeist. It's the spirit of the times. It's how men have been feeling for a long time and they just don't say anything."

As someone who spent a lot of years waiting around for Mr. 6 feet 5, at first I failed to see the humor or value in this 3-minute video. I can't help but get defensive about the plight of single professional women, since I was one for so long.

"Black Marriage Negotiations" is another example of how educated, accomplished women get unfairly maligned for being single, as if there's something wrong with them for having standards and for not settling for a guy they feel isn't worthy of them.

But we've all met single people with unrealistic expectations who are waiting for Mr. or Miss Perfect to waltz in and accept them - bad credit, stank attitude and all. Maybe they'll see themselves in this video.

Send e-mail to heyjen@phillynews.com. My blog: http://go.philly.com/heyjen.