Joe Sixpack | Keeping the beer cold: New twists on an old problem

MAN'S AGE-OLD pursuit to keep his beer cold is getting a boost this summer. The big beer companies have rolled out new, high-tech cold technology, while several beer outfitters are offering an array of thermal hardware.

I gave some of them the Philly treatment this week on one of our hazy, hot and humid afternoons and came up with some surprising results.

First, a few words about temperature. Generally, the craft beers (especially ales) that I write about are better off consumed at temperatures approaching 50 degrees. The full flavor is usually suppressed below 40 degrees because your taste buds are numbed.

Most mainstream American light-bodied lagers are better at 40 or below. The cynic would say that's because you can't really taste anything, but it's also true that colder is more refreshing.

That's the reason the Big 3 have been pushing into even c-c-colder territory this summer. The best idea is the "cold-activated bottle" from Coors Light. The label's snow-covered Rocky Mountains turn blue when the contents reach 42 degrees. Miller is said to be considering new self-chilling cans that can cool to 30 degrees in just three minutes.

Two other freaky advances in icy technology are just showing up in the Philly area:

Coors Light Super Cold Draft: This excellent-looking tap is covered with a mountain of ice and reputedly pours as low as 28.5 degrees. That's just above the freezing point (about 25 degrees) for a typical lager.

I tried to get a taste at the Montco's Pizza Time Saloon (1900 West Point Pike, West Point), but the thing was foaming, which might've been an indication of how tough it is to super-cool beer.

Bartender Sheila Davis told me, "Everybody's been trying it, even if they don't normally drink Coors Light."

Budweiser Chill Chamber: It looks like a typical beer fridge, but the temperature readout says 22 degrees. Yes, that's below freezing, but somehow the beer comes out as liquid. Bud says it'll stay cold 17 minutes longer than a bottle pulled from a conventional fridge.

The sample I tried was "only" 30.4 degrees, but it was teeth-chattering. I thought the chill enhanced the flavor - slightly drier than usual. Look for the coolers at McFadden's at Citizens Bank Park and Chickie's & Pete's (1526 Packer Ave., South Philadelphia).

Until I persuade Mrs. Sixpack to let me spring for either of those babies, I'll stick with a tub of water and a $1.99 bag of cubes from the 7-Eleven. It's cheaper and does a surprisingly good job of getting bottles down to the low 40s in about 15 minutes.

Once you've gotten your beer cold, how do you keep it that way?

First some baseline measurements: On a sunny, 86-degree day, with a starting temperature of 38.3 degrees, an aluminum can of Porkslap Farmhouse Ale hit 48.7 in 25 minutes, a gain of 10.4 degrees. In that same time, a glass bottle of Coors Light chilled to the same temperature climbed to 52.0 degrees, a gain of 13.7 degrees.

Here are the results, from worst to first.

_ USB Beverage Cooler ($15, Target): This little cold plate from Coolit Systems, powered via your computer's USB connection, looks great but it's almost worthless. I rested a bottle of Abita Turbodog on it, and it hit 50 in just 19 minutes - no better than if it had been sitting on a picnic table. Gain in 25 minutes: 13.5 degrees.

_ Budweiser aluminum bottle: This one surprised me the most because it feels so cold in your hand. But while the latest thing in beer containers chills quickly, it loses its cool almost as fast as a traditional glass bottle. Gain in 25 minutes: 12.7 degrees.

_ Coors Light insulating plastic bottle: The label says it "helps keep beer colder longer." Technically, I guess that's true; after 15 minutes, it was exactly 1 degree colder than the regular Coors bottle. Gain in 25 minutes: 12.2 degrees.

_ Coors Light can with Frost Brew liner: A thin layer of blue plastic (visible on the pull tab) supposedly keeps the beer colder. But my test showed it got as warm as a plain aluminum can. Gain in 25 minutes: 10.4 degrees.

_ Bottle in a snuggie: One of those simple foam thingies you take down to the beach worked perfectly on a bottle of Troegs Dreamweaver Wheat. The new breed, available online at CoolerGagets.com, comes with its own opener. Gain in 25 minutes: 7.9 degrees.

Can in a snuggie: By far, the best way to keep your beer cold. I stuck a can of Sly Fox Phoenix Pale Ale into a snuggie, let it sit outside for 25 minutes, and it gained all of 5.2 degrees. At that rate, it would've taken an hour to hit 50 degrees. But we'll never know, because all this rigorous research was making me thirsty. *

"Joe Sixpack" by Don Russell appears weekly in Big Fat Friday. For more on the beer scene in Philly and beyond, visit www.JoeSixpack.net. Send e-mail to joesixpack@phillynews.com.