Mirror, Mirror | Fellas rate the fashions

It's a sunny summer weekend. You're going out to run errands, maybe stop at a coffee shop for a frappuccino and to catch up on your reading.

And if you're lucky, the gods just might conspire to help you run into - him. So in your "I'm just a regular girl" way, you ease into a pair of capris and slide into an empire-waist top. And nothing beats those comfy J. Crew flip-flops.

Eh - think again.

Often we get dressed up in our summer finest, ready to get our flirt on, in trends we think look great, but don't do anything for the men in our lives.

This doesn't mean that I'm telling ladies to dress for men. Everybody needs a black-capri day, and we all know how important comfort is.

But since we women are often accused of dressing for each other, I thought it would be fun to ask Philly fellas what they think about the summer trends we think are so hot.

"What are those pants, called? Flood pants?" asked Otha Wooden of West Oak Lane, wrinkling his nose.

Wooden sat on the steps of the Hahnemann Hospital annex on 15th Street one recent sunny afternoon, critiquing women's fashion with buddy Anthony Mitros, 45, of South Jersey. He was referring to the biggest male fashion complaint we uncovered: capri pants.

"They look like high-waters. Not my cup of tea at all. They just fall funny. I do like bell bottoms with halter tops. That's a good look."

Wooden was just one of the local dudes interviewed, most of them good sports and full of laughs before they launched into their opinions. While many were passionate, they weren't quite up on the fashion terms, often motioning with their hands to explain what they were talking about.

And what they hated most, it seemed, were capri pants, that comfy summer staple that almost all women have in their closets. It doesn't matter what you pair them with or how cool you feel in them, the men said - capris just aren't hot.

"Whatever they are, wide-legged capris, gauchos, short pants, they aren't flattering and they make women look so much larger than they are," said Justin Naldzin, 26, who works at Comcast, shaking his head.

The much-derided capris were followed closely on the Fashion Don't list by Bermuda shorts, empire-waist tops, and Uggs in the summertime (or any other kind of furry boot). Big bags are just plain stupid, men said. Flip-flops (not flat sandals) and pointy shoes were also not attractive at all, in their opinion.

What's not to like about these fashion pieces? Men said they are indecisive (are you kidding me?).

"Either wear ankle-length pants or short shorts," said Michael Costa, 27, a Center City attorney who looked quite dapper in a purple-and-white pin-striped dress shirt. He was talking about Bermudas. "There is no fashion in between. It's so noncommittal. It needs to go either/or."

Anything too tight (cut down on the cleavage, girls) and lots of makeup made the list, too. But we think the guys who said that were trying to be politically correct. After all, we've all seen the heads turn when a girl in clinging britches walks by.

Nearly every guy mentioned the oversized sunglasses popularized by Hollywood starlets, but the reaction varied.

Some don't like them:

"Those glasses cover, like, 80 percent of a woman's face," said Ryan Saylor, 24, a public relations professional who slipped on his own pair of bug-eyed Ray-Ban-style lenses.

Whereas others liked the air of class:

"I love those big Jackie O glasses," said Jack Ferguson, 59, executive vice president of the Convention and Visitors Bureau. "It gives off mystique."

Walter Phillips, an attorney from Chestnut Hill, does not like black.

Huh? What about a little black dress?

"I like black and white together, but I like pretty summer colors like reds, yellows, whites more," he said. "Black just doesn't appeal to me."

Which brings us to the number-one summertime fashion that all men would like to see us in: dresses.

Other dude do's included skirts (of all kinds), sandals with clear heels - you mean stripper shoes? - white linen pants (remember, no black), and, surprisingly, baseball caps with ponytails sticking out of them.

Unanimously, however, dresses - whether capped sleeves or halter-top, terry cloth or matte jersey, plain or print - were the favorite. On the color front, think pink, yellow, red, kelly green or white eyelet. Men like bright colors.

"I just love a pretty sundress," said Brad Laudal, 24, as he sat in Rittenhouse Square eating lunch.

"Floral dresses are great. I like them because a woman puts them on and it's simple. She's pretty and it doesn't take her 45 minutes to get ready."

Or so he thinks.

Women, it's your turn! What male clothing do you hate? Tell us about it at go.philly.com /elizabethwellington. EndText