Biking with Byko? Oh, no!

THIS WILL come as a surprise to many of you, because it came as a surprise to me.

In May, I will be the grand marshal of a bicycle ride through Center City and environs. (Yes, I will be riding a two-wheeler.)

It's open to the bicycling public.

Byko's Safe Bike Ride will cover 11 miles and - here's the gimmick - all traffic laws will be obeyed, all safety rules will be followed.

Is the bicycling public still interested?

To entice you to participate (as if the prospect of riding with me weren't enough), Byko's Safe Bike Ride is a fund-raiser for People's Emergency Center, which focuses mainly on homeless women and their children. Because it is a fund-raiser, there is a registration fee.

Here are two great ideas in one: Demonstrate safe bicycling, help a worthy charity, and have healthy fun. (That's three things. Math isn't my strong suit.)

The bike ride will roll out of City Hall at 11 a.m. Saturday, May 7, rain or shine. People will get their IDs in Dilworth Park. In outline, the ride will start on the east side of City Hall, go north on Broad Street, then Spring Garden to Eakins Oval, the Spring Garden Bridge and 34th Street past the zoo, Parkside Avenue, then onto Lansdowne Drive. Then Lansdowne past the Japanese Tea House and Montgomery Drive down to MLK Jr. Drive, then MLK back into the city.

Once we get back to the Art Museum, we get on the Schuylkill River Trail to Race Street and then end, two to three hours later, at historic McGillin's Olde Ale House, 1310 Drury St., where some drinking may follow. You never can tell about these things.

Registration is $20, and sponsorships are available for $750 and $500. All money raised goes to the People's Emergency Center. (I do not get a cut.) To register or sign up as a sponsor, go to bykobikeride.com. For those who want to support the event without biking, you can make contributions to the center through the same page. Actual participants will get snazzy T-shirts bearing the signature artwork of Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist (and bicyclist) Signe Wilkinson.

Why did I decide to join the bike cult - oops, I mean the "biking community"?

You think working out a deal between the U.S. and Iran was difficult?

Primary instigators - they choose to share credit (or blame) - are ardent bicyclists Ron Ashworth of South Philadelphia and Alexandria Schneider of Jenkintown.

Alexandria gets the greater share of the credit because she reached out to me, very kindly, on Facebook after one of my columns about bikes, specifically the one in which I questioned the sanity of so-called Open Streets, which calls for streets to be closed to autos so people like Alexandria can come into town and pedal around like circus bears.

Oh! I have to stop doing that.

Open (really, Closed) Streets has been successful in some other cities. I have seen otherwise normal people enjoying pilates on their mats in a filthy intersection. They think doing it in the road, so to speak, is fun.

Here, as always, the tiresome disclaimer: I do not own a car. I do have a driver's license. The question is who the streets belong to.

For me, the streets belong to cars, motorcycles, and bicycles; the sidewalks to pedestrians.

I sometimes think it would be fun to rent a Hummer and drive on the sidewalk, but I see foolishness in this. I am able to sublimate my juvenile impulses.

Not so the Open Streets people, but that's another subject.

Mandatory disclosure: I have nothing against bicycles or bicyclists, despite what some of the more dim bikeheads have in their hopefully helmeted heads. I oppose bicycle lanes as unnecessary, but mostly the bad bicycle behavior that is virtually unchecked in Philadelphia.

Some bikeheads - uh-oh, I mean enthusiasts - think that because I oppose bike lanes, and because I believe (as does the Bicycle Coalition of Greater Philadelphia) that bicycles are vehicles and must follow the same laws as cars, I am "anti-bike."

Not true.

And speaking of the Bicycle Coalition, it sent its communications guy, Randy LoBasso, to attend a summit with Schneider, Ashworth, and myself, which gave birth to the idea of Byko's Safe Bike Ride. LoBasso is pretty much the cut-the-red-tape guy; Schneider handles organization and planning; all sorts of support is coming from PEC's Trish Downey; while Ashworth assumes the unenviable task of being my bicycle coach and trainer.

LoBasso and I negotiated a side deal: The Bicycle Coalition would no longer call me anti-bike, because it is not true, and I will retire the term pedalphile. See? We all can get along.

I guarantee the weather will be excellent and you will have a great time.

(Editor's note: Byko can guarantee neither of those things. He can't even guarantee that he won't fall off his bike.)

You can take this as a challenge, a taunt, or an invitation to do something good for the homeless.

Join me (and some celebrity riders to be named later) on May 7.

stubyko@phillynews.com

215-854-5977N>@StuBykofsky

Blog: ph.ly/Byko

Columns: ph.ly/StuBykofsky