Stu Bykofsky | Hoofing it to G'town to nag a pol (again)

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can talk to a horse, of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.

- "Mister Ed" theme

- "Mister Ed" theme

THE HORSE who lives at 443 E. Haines St. does not talk, but the neighbors do.

Here's what one said: "What is a horse doing in a Germantown back yard?" I dunno. I'm not Smarty Jones.

Aside from commercial stables, is it even legal to board a horse within the city limits?

When I called around various agencies to get an answer, I got two: Yes and no.

The confusion probably stems from a City Council ordinance enacted in 2004 specifically prohibiting Philadelphians from keeping farm animals such as "any chicken, goose, duck, turkey, goat, sheep, pig, cow," explains Health Department spokesman Jeff Moran.

It also used a catchall phrase of any "other farm animal," specifically exempted dogs and cats but was silent on horses.

Without reading between the lines, the 2004 law seems to make it illegal to have horses. But, Moran says, "In practice, we do not consider [horses] farm animals." The Health Department gets involved only when there is a horse-related health issue - say, a ton of manure left around to attract flies and spread disease.

The city regulates commercial stables through Licenses & Inspections, but does L&I keep an eye on pet horses?

No, Deputy Commissioner Eileen Evans tells me. L&I's responsibility is only checking permits and the zoning. L&I believes horses are exempt and there aren't many around town. It's "very rare" to find a zoning request for a personal horse, she says.

There's one more opinion I want: 8th District Councilwoman Donna Reed Miller's, because that 443 E. Haines St. address is in her district.

As a matter of fact, 443 E. Haines is her home.

The horse in her back yard is not hers, she said, but her husband Kenny's. I asked Miller to put me in touch with Kenny, but she declined.

A neighbor had furnished me with a picture of a horse, which appears to be an alert palomino. I had made a couple of unannounced visits to the East Haines homestead, but never found the horse at home, just evidence he had been there.

I think they're called road apples.

The horse's name is Babe, Miller said during a hurried phone interview Monday. She wasn't even 100-percent certain of Babe's gender.

She wanted to know why I was interested in all this, and I explained that she's the only Council member with a pet horse, which seemed newsworthy.

Miller seemed indifferent to the horse, which lives behind 443 E. Haines part-time, the rest of the time at a stable. She didn't know what stable, but promised to call back.

She didn't.

I think I know why the subject annoys her.

Miller reminded me that I had called about a pony in her back yard 10 years ago. I had completely forgotten that.

[Editor's note: Stu is subject to senior moments.]

The Shetland pony named Shera was a pet for her daughter Shakira, I reported at the time. The loyal pony was getting old and probably was going to be sent to the slaughterhouse.

I think Miller's disinterest in Shera came through in my column.

Not much has changed in 10 years. *

E-mail stubyko@phillynews.com or call 215-854-5977. For recent columns:

http://go.philly.com/byko.