Steve & Mia: I want to have hate sex with my ex

I fantasize about hate sex with my ex who I can’t even stand. He cheated on me something awful but I always took him back. Am I crazy?

Mia: Nah, you’re not crazy. Some people like it rough. Don’t beat yourself up about your desire for aggressive sex. You say he’s your ex but there’s clearly something you still like about him. Maybe it’s a lingering sexual chemistry. It’s hard to say without more information. My advice is to proceed cautiously – if at all.

When it comes to roughhousing in the bedroom, both parties have to consent.

Steve: Fantasies can be fun and should be left in the region of the mind. I do not recommend another session in the sheets with the guy who cheats because you probably will not wind up happy with yourself.

I’m going to a wedding with my husband next month. I used to party a lot and hooked up with one of the groom’s friends a few times before me and him got married. Others who will be there know about us. I’m a completely different person now. Should I tell my husband or just pretend nothing happened?

Steve:  You partied in your past. So did your hubby, most likely. Have you ever had “that” conversation, like, “How many did you have?” Anyway, I’d get in front of it. Just an off-hand remark, like you “dated” one of the guys in the wedding party. Better that than to run the risk of some loudmouth outing you.

Mia:  Or you could play it cool. If it comes up and it most likely won’t you, you can shrug and say, “Oh, him,” look disinterested and then grab your husband’s hand and take him out on the dance floor. The past is the past and best left there.

A change is coming to commenting on
Watch for our new commenting platform on April 25.
We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn't contribute to an engaging dialogue
Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines

Comment policy: comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the "Report Abuse" option.

Please note that comments are monitored by staff. We reserve the right at all times to remove any information or materials that are unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable. Personal attacks, especially on other participants, are not permitted. We reserve the right to permanently block any user who violates these terms and conditions.

Additionally comments that are long, have multiple paragraph breaks, include code, or include hyperlinks may not be posted.

Load comments