You're never too old to get an STD, so wear a condom

Q: I'm 55 and seeing a woman I first met in high school. We reconnected on Facebook and have been getting to know each other. The other day, it started getting really hot and heavy. I keep condoms in my wallet, so I went to go get one. When I come back, she says to me, "Are you kidding?" She has been through the change, I'm guessing. Anyway, I still thought we should use one, but she was insulted. She felt as though I was saying I thought she had an STD or something. The way I see it, maybe stop using one after we've been together awhile, but from the beginning like this, I'm not sure. Am I being too cautious?

Steve: Some sexually transmitted diseases have no immediate impact. She - or you - could have human papillomavirus, which is almost impossible to know unless your doctor tests for it. In many cases, there is no pain or visibility. I'd say each of you should be tested for STDs before you decide to condemn the condoms.

Mia: Proceed cautiously, if at all. If that woman wants you to raw-dog it like that this early in your relationship, you can be sure you aren't the first. She probably likes to live dangerously. Not to be rude, but there's no fool like an old fool. Americans aged 50 and older have pretty much the same HIV risk factors as younger folks, but tend to be less aware of this, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Adults 55 and older accounted for 26 percent of all those living with diagnosed or undiagnosed HIV infection in 2013.

That's a long way of saying that you need to keep reaching for those condoms no matter how much side eye your girlfriend gives you. You both should be tested for HIV and other STDs and should discuss monogamy as a start to having safer sex.

If she balks, tell her it's to protect her, because it's not as if you've been celibate all these years. Stand your ground.

Q: I'm just getting back out there after being married a long time and was curious if anal bleaching really is a thing nowadays? This girl I'm seeing told me she's thinking of getting it, and I didn't know what to say.

Signed, Feeling Old

Mia: Yo, Feeling Old, your female friend watches way too much porn. Unless she's in the XXX industry, she doesn't need any part of her bum bleached to make her rear zone all one color. The way I see it, the risk of exposing yourself to potentially dangerous chemicals just to achieve color uniformity around your butt is stupid.

Steve: If she was telling you, maybe she wanted your opinion. Do a little research, then suggest what the healthiest choice would be for her. And a good old-timer would play her Marvin Gaye's "How Sweet It Is (to Be Loved By You)."

Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of

answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.