Friend with benefits? The benefit is not a holiday gift

Q: Me and this guy from school have been talking for about a year now. We are not in a real relationship or anything but we get together at least once a week. Mostly we text during the week and hook up on the weekends. I guess you could say we're friends with benefits. What I want to know is, should I get him a gift for Christmas or would that be weird?

Mia: You're not his girlfriend, so don't act like one. If you get that dude a sweater and give it to him the next time he's over for sex, it'll be like you're catching feelings for him. Is that really the message you want to send? It sounds to me as if you're OK with keeping things in the friends zone, which means no forking over money for an expensive present. I'm not saying that you should be a Grinch. But you don't want to slip into girlfriend mode just because " 'tis the season." If you must do something, buy a bottle of wine that the two of you can enjoy together the next time that you hook up, because that's all it is that you're doing anyway. It's cool if that's what you want. But don't get it twisted and start trying to make your booty call into something that it's not.

Steve: I'm very surprised at how sour Mia is during the holiday season. Buy him a nice gift, and I'm not saying that just because I'm a guy. And don't be too put off if he doesn't buy you a gift. You know how guys are.

Q: I met this beautiful girl and everything's great. The sex is amazing and we're great together. But after she leaves, I find her hair everywhere. There are long strands in the bathroom sink and all in my carpet. Once I even found it wrapped around my d---. I want to say something to her about this but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Steve: Two words: Shut up. Four more: Buy a vacuum cleaner.

Mia: She probably has hair extensions. The cheap stuff sheds like crazy. She really should be putting it into a top knot when you're getting busy in bed. If you want to say something to her you can, but why run the risk of making her feel self-conscious? Consider her hair souvenirs and a small price to pay for having a gorgeous woman in your bed.

Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.