Christmas? It's in the cards

I LOVE CHRISTMAS cards.

I enjoy sending them and I like to receive them. I mailed mine last week, and this week came the mother lode. Funny how that works.

I like seeing pictures of my friend's kids and charting their growth. I like noting who says Season's Greetings and who is still willing to wish me a Merry Christmas. Heck, I even like those goofy letter greetings where people give you a run-down on everything from the summer trip to the Jersey Shore to the kids' report cards. Sometimes I have no idea who sent them to me, but I still read them to the end.

Often people mistake my religion. They send me Hanukkah cards. I like them, too. In fact, I feel no need to correct anyone who verbally offers me a "Happy Hanukkah," I just respond in kind.

I have a friend, Paul Lauricella, who every year sends a sophisticated, albeit homemade holiday card with a liberal political message. Last year he featured a Santa who "possessed toys of mass distribution. " I seldom agree with what he has to say. But I enjoy his wit and look forward to receiving his card.

The annual exchange of cards has also become a reminder for type of year I have had. I'm thinking of the two D's: death and divorce. Thankfully, this year was another winner.

My address hasn't changed, and neither has my wife's. And nobody in my immediate family passed.

We send out about 200 cards every year, and there are always a number of changes for couples who split, and folks who die. These seem to be growing, which makes the addressing of envelopes a sobering experience. This year, about a dozen recipients needed a change.

Divorce is tough. Do you send to the ex-wife, the ex-husband, both or neither? Or, maybe you never liked her, but now she has the kids and you want them to know you're thinking of them. What then? It's a Larry David episode waiting to happen.

Worse, of course, are the deaths. I'm losing more friends each year that I grow older. And friends are losing parents. My friends Jonathan and Nancy Newman, and Larry Ceisler just lost their dads. So did my boss, David Yadgaroff. Paul Diamond recently lost his mom. Marty Weinberg just lost his wife, Mary Ellen. She was a great lady.

Sometimes I can't bring myself to take people off my list so I just don't. My rolodex reflects that, too. It has the names of many people who are no longer living but whose names I can't stand the thought of erasing. Frank L. Rizzo is still in that file. So too is Herb Barness. Russell Byers.

Thacher Longstreth. Jay C. Waldman. And, of course, James E. Beasley.

This year I paused and gave thanks as I sent a card to my 99-year-old grandmother, who has been ailing. For years she has been saying she's had enough.

MY COCKER spaniel, Winston, is also on my mind. He's about to turn 16, which is about the same age as my grandmother. He lost his manhood in a surgery at Penn years ago. He can't hear. He really can't see. And a FedEx truck hit him a few years ago so his gait is unsteady. He's a bit incontinent, but beyond all that, he's terrific. I don't send him a card, but I do include his name, and the names of our other dogs, in the cards I distribute.

There are things we do annually in life that trigger a gut check. They make us stop and take stock of where we are. Maybe it's a visit the same beach every summer. Or the start of the school year. Maybe it's sitting down for Thanksgiving.

Sending and receiving the Christmas cards is one of them for me. And here's the lesson. The status quo is often just fine.

Yeah, the job may be awful. The in-laws may be a pain in the butt. The car may have a dent. Bin Laden is still unaccounted for and the country is still at war with Iraq. Perhaps you're not going anywhere for the holidays. You're no longer a 36 waist and your wife will never again see a size 6 or 8.

But if your family is alive and together, you've had a pretty good year. In the words of a great Philadelphian, Pat Croce, celebrate the moment. *

Michael Smerconish's column appears Thursdays. He can be heard weekdays 5:30-9 a.m. on the Big Talker, 1210/AM. Contact him via the Web at www.mastalk.com.