Kevin Riordan: Grieving sister gives teens a heartfelt message on safe driving

Not long ago, "I was probably the biggest distracted driver on the road," Angela Donato said.

"I was reading e-mails. I was sending e-mails. I was calling people. I thought that I was invincible."

Then came the evening of June 1, 2011, when Donato, 22, and her close-knit family in Washington Township got the call that changed everything.

Her oldest sister, Toni Donato-Bolis, who was nine months pregnant, had dialed their mother, Mary, desperate for help. She was trapped in her car on Pitman-Downer Road after becoming involved in a horrific accident less than a mile from her home.

"She said, 'Please get here. I'm going to lose the baby,' " Donato recalled.

They rushed to Toni, 28, but "her lips were blue when we got there," Donato said.

Mother and unborn child, whom Toni and her husband, Eric, had planned to name Ryan Jeffrey, died a short time later as a result of their injuries.

"It felt like somebody had stabbed me," said Donato.

The Cabrini College graduate student was telling her story to a roomful of sophomores at Washington Township High School.

By day's end, Angela would present a heartfelt safe-driving message, along with several powerful videos, to 400 students at the school where she graduated in 2007, three years after her sister Toni. Another sister, Annette, 24, also graduated from WTHS.

It is a primary offense to use a handheld communication device while behind the wheel in New Jersey. No charges have been filed against the 21-year-old Glassboro resident who was driving the other vehicle.

Washington Township police have concluded their investigation and further action is "at the discretion of the Gloucester County Prosecutor's Office," says Lt. Dennis Sims.

That office is "reviewing reports from the police and [our] own investigators to reach a conclusion as to what happened," Bernie Weisenfeld, a spokesman for the prosecutor said in an e-mail.

But the Donato family is convinced that the driver was distracted by a device, based on comments they say he made at the crash scene.

They have founded the Toni Donato-Bolis and Baby RJ Bolis Foundation to warn other young people in South Jersey about the dangers of distracted driving.

"As a driver, would you blindfold yourself?" the Washington High students are asked by Donato, who is leading the campaign. "That's basically what you're doing when you take your hand or your eyes off the wheel.

"You don't want anyone in your family to get that phone call," Donato continued, as her audience sat in respectful silence. "One second is all it takes. You don't want it to be you and you don't want it to be someone else."

She wore a green T-shirt (Toni's favorite color) and was remarkably poised for a person who, until recently, had done little public speaking.

"The first time, I used cue cards," she told me, describing her presentation at Clearview Regional High School in Mullica Hill recently.

"We're very proud of her," says Angela's dad, Charlie Donato, who was in the audience at Washington Township High, along with Mary and other family members.

"We've been trying to put this together for the last nine months," Charlie, 55, says of the education campaign. "We want to spread the word of what distracted driving does to society."

Weisenfeld, of the prosecutor's office, is impressed by the Donatos' determination. "It certainly renews one's confidence in the resilience of the human spirit to see such willingness to turn a loss into an important lesson for others," he said.

Matthew Groark, who teaches driver education, plans to invite Angela back to speak to the entire student body. "This is just the beginning, I hope," he said.

Student Alexis Auluiano, 15, said the message got through. "It was definitely powerful."

As other teenagers signed "no texting while driving" pledges, Donato reflected on her mission.

"This is my way of grieving," she said. "I can't let Toni die in vain. I can't let her son die in vain. And I need to let her 3-year-old daughter Mia know what kind of a wonderful woman she was.

"If I just get one kid to listen, that's all that matters to me. Saving a life."

Listen to Angela Donato deliver her safe-driving message at Washington Township High School. www.philly.com/AngelaEndText