DEAR ABBY: I have nothing against drinking or those who do. I just do not like the taste of alcohol. Worse, after only half a glass of wine, I become so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open. It makes me feel physically awful.
My husband takes offense to the fact that I don't want to drink. When we're out with friends, he'll have three or four beers and pressure me to the point of embarrassment in front of them until I finally give in and order a glass of wine. Of course, I then spend the rest of the evening feeling terrible. When we get home, he'll want to be intimate, but I just want to go to sleep, which aggravates him further.
He can't explain why he does this. What can I do?
- Just Water, Please
DEAR JUST WATER: Your husband is a drinker. He may be self-conscious about the amount he imbibes and feels less so if he has a drinking buddy (that's you), willing or not. To say the least, his behavior is inconsiderate - and I mean all of it.
When someone is involved with a problem drinker, and from your description of his behavior your husband is one, the place to start looking for answers is Al-Anon. To find a meeting close to you, go online to al-anon.org. Please don't wait.
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Cecily," has just come out to me as being a lesbian. We are both 15. I have tried my best to make her feel accepted and comfortable. But whenever she wants something from me and I refuse, she says I'm "treating her badly because she's gay." When I finally confronted her about it, she went to her mother and said I was bullying her because of her being gay. What do I do?
- Way Out of Hand in New York
DEAR WAY OUT OF HAND: Consider asking your mother to talk to Cecily's mother and explain that you're not homophobic but feel her daughter is being manipulative. If the woman hears it from another adult, she may talk to her daughter about it. However, if that doesn't work, you may have to decide if it's worth it to continue the relationship under these circumstances.