Son using Mom's cell sees her in sex video

He was in for a surprise when he was playing with his mother's cellphone. (iStock)

DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son, "Wiley," was playing a game on my cellphone. I stupidly forgot to delete a short video of myself engaged in a sex act with my ex-husband, "Cliff." Wiley didn't confront me or mention it, but given his sudden change in behavior, I'm almost certain he saw it. Now he's shutting down. He won't talk to me.

I divorced Cliff because he and my son didn't get along, but in the past six months we have been secretly having an affair and we ultimately want to get back together when Wiley is 18. My son doesn't approve of him and he's angry about it.

Wiley's father has been no help and I suspect adds fuel to our son's anger during his weekend visitations. I tried therapy for Wiley - it didn't help. Do you have any suggestions?

- Mortified in Arizona

DEAR MORTIFIED: I'm printing your letter because, once again, it illustrates the danger of putting videos of a sexual nature on cellphones.

Because Cliff and Wiley's relationship was so poor, it might reassure him to know that your seeing Cliff does not mean you will be living together any time soon.

In the meantime, I recommend that you talk with a therapist to help you cope with the changed relationship you now have with your son.


DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, I reconnected with "Paul." We were in grade school together and hadn't seen each other for many years. Because of our ages (we're both seniors) and separate families and incomes, we feel marriage is not what we'd like to do. But we would like to move in together.

Would it be ridiculous for us to do that without being married? Will the world condemn us?

- In Love in Louisiana

DEAR IN LOVE: Many older couples do what you are considering because being married would negatively affect their retirement income. If your children like Paul - and his children like you - I doubt you will be ostracized. Apart from your family, it is nobody's business and you are not obligated to discuss it.