He's tired of diapers, but wife wants a girl

DEAR ABBY: I recently became a father for the third time. My wife, "Molly," had complications during this last pregnancy, but we were blessed with another boy.

I'm turning 40 and my wife is 37. I'm ready to be done changing diapers, but Molly wants to try again for a little girl.

I don't want Molly to go through life regretting not having the daughter she always wanted, but there is no guarantee it will happen if we decide to try again.

I make a fair living, but I'm afraid I won't be able to provide for my growing family as I need to. Am I right in my thinking, or am I being overly cautious?

- Stopping at Three in Pennsylvania

DEAR STOPPING AT THREE: You are thinking clearly. At 37, and with her medical history, your wife would be considered "at risk" if she becomes pregnant again. Allow me to share a true story with you:

A man was in a similar situation to yours, but he had four daughters. So he and his wife decided they would try "one more time" for a son. Sure enough, his wife became pregnant. She delivered beautiful identical twin . . . daughters. At that point he gave up and had a vasectomy!

DEAR ABBY: I was recently hired for a job I have wanted for years. I am a counselor for troubled teens. I love it, and I empathize with those I work with. (Ten years ago, I was a teen placed in a similar facility for some of the same reasons.)

The problem is, when I was in a dark period of my life, I was a cutter. I still have deep scars on one arm that are noticeable. How do I handle this now that I'm in the psychological field? I don't wish to go into detail about my past, but it's hard to avoid with my past literally "on my sleeve."

- Nameless in America

DEAR NAMELESS: I hope your comments will remind other cutters that actions have consequences. This is something you should discuss with your employers. My thinking is, if your clients see your scars, it may help them to talk about their own cutting, which would be therapeutic.