Dear Abby: Girlfriend refuses to see man's writing on the wall

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of one year has told me he needs to focus on getting his life together - getting a better job, concentrating on his career and finding himself.

At this point in his life, he knows he can't provide for me and give me what I want, which is to settle down some time in the next few years.

He said he is not yet sure when he will have his life together and he doesn't want me to wait for him.

He feels he needs to be "selfish" now and focus only on himself.

We have talked about breaking up, and while he has faith that we will be together again in the future, I can't bring myself to end things with an amazing man like this.

- Afraid to Let Go

DEAR AFRAID: When a man says he wants to focus only on himself and he doesn't want you to wait for him, what he is really saying is, "It's over."

While the prospect of moving on after having invested a year in the relationship may be anxiety-provoking, at this point, you really have no other choice but to let go.

And don't expect to "be together again" any time soon because his road to self-discovery could take a long, long time if it happens at all.

Please accept my sympathy for your heartache.