Dear Abby: Smothering mom looks for way to break free from her habit

DEAR ABBY:

I am a 62-year-old lady who has been a dedicated mother, helpful grandma and a good wife. I don't mean to imply that I'm perfect, but my heart has always been in the right place. I have been so used to being a mother that now I don't know how to stop. My children think I do too much, and it hurts me when they call me "annoying" and "impossible to deal with." I want to act differently, but I don't know how. I've been told I need to do something with my life other than help my kids. I know I deserve to be happy, but I don't know how to start. Can you tell me what to do, Abby?

- Melancholy Mama in Washington

DEAR MELANCHOLY: You are a successful wife and mother, having raised independent children. Now it's YOUR turn. Think back to before you were married and had children: What were your interests? Was there a class or subject you wanted to take? Did you want to act, paint, read Shakespeare, join a hiking club, travel or learn to dance? Learn French, plant a garden, raise rabbits, write a novel, study architecture, learn the stock market, or (you fill in the blank)? If you still can't ditch the urge to "mother," consider becoming a foster parent, or volunteer at a school, children's hospital or as a literacy tutor at your local library. The possibilities are endless and the need is great.