Odd tie-in of Phineas & Ferb and the Marvel heroes

Fanboys rarely have reason to celebrate capitalism. The system is rigged by the entertainment/merchandising complex to ruthlessly exploit ardent fans' enthusiasm for pop culture. The Boba Fett action figure? Four easy payments of $29.99.

Whoever thought it would cost so much to sit at the geeks' table? But then, the free marketplace has always been a cafeteria ruled by bullies.

There has been one production megadeal that fanboys can applaud, however - Disney's $4 billion purchase of Marvel Entertainment and its rich pantheon of comic-book superheroes, from Ant-Man to Zuras.

It has resulted in a flood of Marvelous content, as Disney seeks to make its investment pay off.

Kids have been the main, um, beneficiaries of this campaign. A new channel, Disney XD, was created essentially to showcase cartoons of our costumed idols. Disney XD carries 20 hours a week of Marvel programming, from Fantastic Four to The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes to the brand-new Marvel's Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.

(Another series on XD is Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, which I believe is about the boyhood adventures of the nimble former Eagles' quarterback.)

The oddest and most imaginative branding tie-in effort to date comes Friday to the Mouse Empire's TV mother ship.

Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel (8 p.m. Friday on the Disney Channel) is a very special crossover episode that has our favorite adolescent backyard overachievers, P & F, mixing it up with Iron Man, Thor, Spider-Man, and Hulk.

Danville, the boys' cartoon hometown, is invaded by a larger-than-life all-star collection of heroes and villains. That's because the town's resident evil comic relief, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, had a lab mishap that inadvertently robbed Thor, Hulk, and the other good guys of their powers.

The show tries to crank up the energy to accommodate the "special" status right from the opening credits, when Phineas and Ferb rock out on a headbanger that sounds very much like Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir."

That's followed by a fun scene of the P & F gang surfing on an asteroid belt up in space. Of course, Phineas, with his pointy, isosceles-shaped head, needs a customized helmet.

Then, unfortunately, it's down to business. The crossover never really meshes. The script alternates weak wisecracks with overblown threats of annihilation. (Although Thor does get one good line: "Juice in a box? We have nothing like this in Asgard!")

The show's signature musical numbers function here merely as frivolous filler.

The setting does as much as Doofenshmirtz to rob the superheroes of their powers. The muscle posse seems stiff, diminished, and out-of-place in this kiddie-cartoon playpen. The heroes' stern presence tends to flatten the usual goofy charm of Phineas and Ferb.

Interestingly, the malefactors make the transition just fine. In particular, Red Skull and M.O.D.O.K. (a giant floating head) are bracingly effective and menacing, even in Danville.

In the end, Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel is like one of those jarring stunt episodes of Gilligan's Island, when a guest star like Phil Silvers or Zsa Zsa Gabor joined our castaways. The result is both dissonant and disappointing.