Sideshow: Stressed Demi hospitalized

What ails Demi Moore? What evil has befallen the star?

Demi, 49, was taken by paramedics to an L.A. hospital Monday, where she is being treated for . . . exhaustion, epilepsy, drug addiction, anorexia, or a whip-it OD.

Take your pick: The rumors are many, the facts few.

The G.I. Jane tough-gal's rep says it's stress: "Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health," a statement says.

Most gossipers agree on one thing: Since splitting up with husband Ashton Kutcher, Demi has been unwell.

It's anorexia, says RadarOnline; Demi is popping pills, says People, which notes that Demi did a stint in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction in the mid-'80s.

TMZ says on Monday Demi indulged in a massive amount of whip-its, a nitrous oxide inhalant kids use for a cheap high. One of Demi's friends called 911 when the actor had a seizure and slipped into unconsciousness.

"I always wanted to be a dancer," Mary Tyler Moore, 75, tells Reuters. "That is what I really wanted in my life. I will go to my grave having received so many awards thinking of myself as a failed dancer rather than a successful actress." On Sunday, Moore's TV hub, Dick Van Dyke, will present her with a lifetime achievement award from the Screen Actors Guild.

"It pleases me to know that it would make my dad awfully happy, I know that," says Moore, who began her TV career playing the Happy Hotpoint Appliance Elf in a 1955 commercial. She would go on to star in the 1970s hit The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which earned 29 Emmys.

Stupendously cuddly E.T. darling turned self-assured hottie actor-director Drew Barrymore, who became engaged to Will Kopelman this month, promises she plans to begin planning her wedding real soon. But she doesn't want to rush things.

  "I think everyone expects you to kinda know right away what all the plans are," the Whip It helmer told Good Morning America's Robin Roberts on Wednesday.

"And I'm like, oh goodness, it happened a month ago. Do I not have it together, or is it OK to keep daydreaming?"

Drew, previously wed to Jeremy Thomas and then Tom Green, says she and Will have a "stable, normal kind of vibe."

So good is the Drew/Will vibe, she plans to convert to his faith, Judaism, marry him in a traditional Jewish ceremony, and raise their kids Jewish! Or so claims In Touch Weekly. Drew's rep is like, huh?

Is Lady Gaga a real person or just an act, a character, a construct? Or is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta the copy?

A question that invariably arises in that billion-dollar simulacrum that is ShowBiz.

And so it rears its head in Gaga's love life. In Touch Weekly claims Taylor Kinney, 30, who has dated Her GagaEsque Ladyship for six months, is upset, full of woe 'n' rue because he has fallen in love with a side of Gaga he never gets to see - Stefani.

Anonymous Source tells ITW that Taylor complains that Stef does the Gaga act 24/7, even in her private life. It wears on him.

Tim Gunn, 58, Project Runway martinet and host of daytime talker The Revolution, says he hasn't had sex in 29 years. Yeah, I know, join the club. He tells of "a very intense relationship," a demanding partner, trauma, and the dawn of AIDS. He says he doesn't feel like less of a person for it. If you say, "Well, that explains a lot," you are a terrible, terrible human being.

Adele rocks charts, again & again!

British soul singer Adele, 23, retains the top spot on the Billboard album charts with 21, which sold 95,000 copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan. The album has been at No. 1 for 17 nonconsecutive weeks since its release last February. It's the best of any album since the Whitney Houston-fueled The Bodyguard soundtrack was on top for 20 weeks 19 years ago.

The rest of the pack: The 21st edition of the Kidz Bop series debuted at No. 2 with sales of 59,000; Black Keys' El Camino is in third place with 29,000; Drake's Take Care is at No. 4 with 29,000; and Rihanna's Talk That Talk is at No. 5 with 20,000.

Entourage's dark-maned beauty Emmanuelle Chriqui has joined a 50,000-signature-strong petition drive to shame Apple CEO Tim Cook into manufacturing Apple products, including the iPhone, with conflict-free minerals sourced from eastern Congo. "Apple is already a leader in the field and could make the first-ever conflict-free electronics with minerals from Congo," Chriqui says.

Simon "Darth" Cowell stands to make another pile with his latest reality TV idea, a talent show to find the globe's best DJ!

"DJs are the new rock stars. It feels like the right time to make this show," says Si, 52, identifying a hot trend of 30 years ago.

Palindromic Swedish pop act ABBA, which has had a resurgence since Mamma Mia! became a global hit, said Wednesday it'll release a super-special edition of its last album, 1981's The Visitors, in April. "For ABBA fans, the most sensational inclusion in the package will be the previously unreleased track 'From a Twinkling Star to a Passing Angel (demos),' " says the super-blond band, which is composed of Agnetha Faltskog, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Benny Andersson, and Bjorn Ulvaeus.

Due perhaps to her recent health problems, Demi Moore has dropped out of the Linda Lovelace porn biopic Lovelace, in which she was to play feminist titan Gloria Steinem. Chloë Sevigny will take over.

Ellen DeGeneres had a sexy first job: "I sold clothes in [J.C. Penney's] women's department . . . and rehung things when people put them in the wrong place," Ellen tells Extra reporter Mario Lopez, who'll join her as cohost of her gabshow Thursday, which is her 54th b-day.

Daniel Radcliffe, 22, will play a literary wizard, poet Allen Ginsberg, in his next pic, Kill Your Darlings, says the Hollywood Reporter. The John Krokidas-helmed flick, which costars Elizabeth Olsen, Dane DeHaan, and Jack Huston, is a thriller about a 1944 murder that draws together Beat generation writers Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, and William Burroughs.